W ord S earch
A WEAPON IN THE HANDS OF ABUSERS A restraining or protective order is one of the main tools our society gives people to handle abuse from a specific person. The court uses the order to protect a person in a situation involving alleged domestic violence, child abuse, assault, harassment, stalking, or sexual assault. However, there’s a dark twist to this concept that we call the “Revenge Restraining Order” at our firm. Because we specialize in Orange County and Southern California divorce and family law matters complicated by narcissism, borderline personality disorder, and other mental illnesses that are often at the root of these sorts of devious ploys, it’s something we are unfortunately familiar with. Though we’d rather nobody ever had to deal with this, our experience has given us the wisdom to help our clients who have been the victims of a revenge restraining order respond with expert strategies. Those seeking a real restraining order genuinely want to protect themselves and fear the other party will harm them. A revenge restraining order is something an abusive person seeks to hurt the other person, knowing inwardly that no court order is really needed to stop the person they are trying to harm. It’s a common tactic of narcissistic abuse and a way for the guilty party to play the victim. Some might argue that if someone is truly innocent, it shouldn’t matter if someone gets a revenge restraining order against them. That’s hardly true. If your abuser is successful in their ploy to get a revenge restraining order, at a bare minimum, they’ll be able to tarnish your good name. Many people will just assume the worst about someone with a restraining order. It gets even more devious from there. A psychopathic or narcissistic person could even try to do worse, like stalking and following you before calling the cops. That way, it looks like you’ve stalked them and violated the restraining order! You could end up arrested and in jail. So, how do you protect yourself? First, document everything you can as soon as you suspect you could be the victim of something like this. Then, get in touch with our firm as quickly as possible. We’ll provide you with the help you need. REVENGE RESTRAINING ORDERS
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CHICKEN, LEEK, AND BLUE CHEESE PILAF
Inspired by BBCGoodFood.com
INGREDIENTS
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2 1/2 cups water 1/2 cup brown basmati rice 2 tsp vegetable bouillon powder
breasts, chopped 1 leek, thinly sliced 2 zucchini, thinly sliced 1 cup frozen peas 4 walnut halves, broken 1/4 cup crumbled Gorgonzola cheese
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1 bay leaf
1 tsp grapeseed oil 2 skinless chicken
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DIRECTIONS
1. In a large pot, add water, rice, bouillon powder, and bay leaf. Cover, bring to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for 20 minutes. 2. Meanwhile, in a large frying pan, heat oil and stir-fry chicken over medium-high heat until just cooked. Remove from pan, then fry leek until soft. Add zucchini, stir-fry for a few minutes more, then add peas. 3. When the rice is cooked, add it and any liquid from the pot to the vegetables. Return chicken to the pan, then cover and cook for 5 minutes more. Stir in walnuts and cheese and serve hot.
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