How to Become a More Attentive Listener
Hang On, There’s More Than One Type of Listening?
Have you ever found yourself listening to your spouse or a good friend tell a story, only to realize that you’ve completely zoned out and lost track of what they were saying?
You can also gain insight into someone’s emotional intelligence. Does your friend share a story about a work interaction from earlier in the day that left them frustrated, but as they tell it, they remain relatively calm? This person is demonstrating emotional intelligence. They verbalize their emotions without being overcome by them. ASK FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS If someone shares that they are dreading their doctor’s appointment tomorrow, you can show you are listening by asking them to tell you more about that. It might feel a little like a therapy session, but thoughtful questions will demonstrate that you care and are interested in not only what they have to say, but also how they feel. These conversations are what relationships are built upon. Nonverbal clues, like fidgety feet or hand-wringing, can signal that your speaker is uncomfortable. If they haven’t voiced that feeling yet, you might be able to help them out by asking tactful questions. Open-ended questions are especially helpful as they allow a speaker to come to their own conclusions about a topic. Your insightful questions may even help them process feelings about a situation and come to a realization they wouldn’t have had otherwise.
Yes, just because you’re “listening,” doesn’t mean you’re really listening. There are many ways to listen, and some are more effective than others. You can listen without getting any message from the speaker, and you can listen with your entire being when you respond to the speaker’s words with animation and encouragement. Of course, you don’t have to become a Shakespearean actor to demonstrate that you are actively listening. Small gestures — nodding your head in agreement or giving an empathetic emotional response — go a long way toward showing your speaker that you’re taking in everything they say. LISTEN FOR MEANING By demonstrating attentive listening, you’ll be able to pick up on more than what a person is verbalizing. By focusing on their intonations and what they choose to emphasize, you may learn about their values and belief system. Have they been talking excitedly about their volunteer role at a local shelter? This is probably something that’s important to them, and demonstrating an interest in it will strengthen your relationship.
have a LAUGH
Spicy Chimichurri
Grilled Cheese
ingredients
For chimichurri: • 2 jalapeños • 4 green onions • 1/2 cup cilantro • 1 clove garlic •
For sandwiches: •
1 tablespoon olive oil
•
1 ripe avocado, cut into slices
•
2–4 ounces fresh mozzarella
•
4 slices whole-wheat bread
2 tablespoons olive oil
•
Juice of 1 lime
•
2 teaspoons honey
Directions
1. Pulse chimichurri ingredients in a food processor or blender until combined but not pureed. Add extra olive oil as needed. 2. Heat grill or skillet to medium-low. Brush outsides of bread with olive oil. Smear 1 tablespoon chimichurri on each slice of bread. Place a layer of avocado and cheese between slices. 3. Cook gently until bread is crisp and cheese is melted. 4. Slice and serve.
inspired by naturallyella.com
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