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3. Take care of your family.
Our dads worked 12- or 16-hour days to have a business that could support our moms being home to raise us. That way, we could be taken care of by family instead of by others. My dad and his brothers worked all day to afford our schools, cars, health insurance, food, clothes, and all the things a lot of families struggle with. My wife had to pay for all of that herself growing up. My dad paid for most of that for me. He showed his love by providing for the family so we could be in school and have the opportunities he and his family didn’t have when they had to leave Sicily for America. In my youth, I didn’t honor this as much as I should have. But later on, I made sure he knew he did good work. It’s always been awkward for me to say “I love you” to him or my mom. I still have a bit of that old-school Sicilian in me. But we left nothing unsaid that July Fourth. We said our goodbyes. We said, “I love you.” And we honored a well-lived life that taught us so much. I was re ecting on plane rides and in between conferences on all the top lessons my dad taught me growing up that I still live and utilize as life’s rules and principles that dictate the choices and decisions I make. I’ve used these principles to live what I hope will be remembered as a good life. I hope they can help serve you in your pursuit of a well-lived life. 1. Always work with an immigrant’s work ethic. My dad taught us that work is a privilege. They came here with $5 in their pockets and did not once view work as a chore. They were proud to work, proud to sell, proud to build, and proud they had an opportunity to do good work and give to people. They never had this modern-day entitlement about work. It was part of how they could leave a mark for a better life for their family. It was their responsibility. 2. Do your best work no matter what it is. I remember being a kid, washing glasses at our restaurant and looking for any way to rush the job so I could get outside and play in the back alley. Then, I remember my dad grabbing me with the not-so-clean glasses I had just washed and he asking me, “Would you want to drink out of this glass if you were paying for it?” I said no. He then asked, “So why would you work this way here in our restaurant? The restaurant that pays for your food, school, toys, and everything?” My dad had a way of asking questions that made me feel guilty without having to yell. He then shared this key lesson: “I don’t care if you are a garbage man; do it well. Someone owns that business and they deserve that for paying you.” I learned that day to do things well. I later learned in life how you do anything is how you do everything. Life can be simple.
Throughout all my years, the one lesson that we saw lived every day between my dad and his three brothers was the fact that they believed in one thing: At the end of the day, family will be the ones by your side. Take care of them even when you might not be getting along. Forgive them and come back to them. I watched my dad and his brothers give all they had, as one, for each other. If one went down, they all came down together. An uncle of mine became a gambling addict for a period of years and lost tens of thousands of dollars on bets. My Dad and his brothers would be there, money in hand, to make sure his brothers’ family was never affected until they could get him the help he needed. They were loyal to each other almost to a fault. But I saw in those acts the way we should treat family. I strive every day to live that. 4. Take care of and give to your guests. During 35 years of owning a restaurant, the man would always overdeliver. He would always give an extra serving here, a few extra garlic knots there, or spend a few moments at a table sitting with guests. My dad was the charismatic one, the talker (it is where I got it, after all) who would schmooze our restaurant guests, know their names, and ask about their kids. It’s why we had guests who came to our restaurant for all 35 years we had it. He was a man of the people. It’s probably why I often go the extra distance with my coaches and students and jump on calls even when my schedule is crazy. Or it’s why I offer free coaching calls when I present, because I was taught to give to our guests. Growing up in a Sicilian household, we gave of our food, fed anyone who walked in, and poured wine to make everyone feel welcome. Taking care of the people close to us and the people who trust us was a simple choice my dad taught us to make. 5. Love the simple things. My dad didn’t understand why we would want to go out to a restaurant or why we would want to buy wine. He would always say, “Why go out when your mother and grandmother can cook? And what’s better than our restaurant?” We had a massive garden, made our own wine, and ate homemade food our whole lives. He took us to Italy to see the family, and made sure we loved soccer and the simple things that men who loved a simpler life and worked their whole lives took pleasure in. I didn’t give this lesson as much weight as I do today. My wife and I live overlooking vineyards, away from the hustle and bustle. We cook six days a week, except for date night, and we enjoy wine, sunsets, gardens, our work, and trips to Italy to see our friends. Those simple things keep love in our hearts, work in our souls, and memories as the treasures of a lifetime.
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Vito Lafata • www.vitolafata.com
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