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Be honest. Give your kids the facts, especially because they may have heard wildly inaccurate rumors, and explain the importance of getting information from trusted sources like county departments of health or the CDC. Give kids actionable tips on keeping your family healthy, like frequent hand washing, disinfecting often-touched surfaces and avoiding touching their faces. With her kids and her patients, Dr. Erica Faulconer, pediatrician with Northwest Pediatrics, says there is a fine line between being cautious and preventative and inciting fear. Honesty is the best policy but Faulconer says it’s all in how you frame the information. For example, instead of explaining that you’re being cautious because you don’t want to risk grandparents getting so sick they have to go to the hospital, say you are helping to keep grandparents healthy because they are at a higher risk. Johnson echoes that it’s important to explain necessary social distancing and quarantine with positive perspective, using words like help, protection and safety versus scared, panic and crisis.
Acknowledge emotions. Thai-An Truong, licensed professional counselor in private practice, says we are often taught to distract ourselves or our kids from our anxiety. Instead of telling your kids, or yourself, not to worry or that everything will be just fine, honor those feelings and try to understand them. To a degree, anxiety can benefit you and reveal positive character traits. “For example, anxiety keeps me cautious and alert, it drives me to protect myself and my children’s health and safety, it keeps me proactive, drives me to problem solve and shows I really love my children and value our quality of life,” said Truong. When kids’ questions or fears are silenced or aren’t honored, they tend to internalize their feelings and make up their own stories as answers, which can escalate their anxiety, says Warfield. On the flip side, when parents share and acknowledge their own worries, in a developmentally-appropriate manner, the child is validated. Warfield adds this is a perfect opportunity to talk through helpful coping mechanisms together. “Explain that mommy feels anxiety, too, sometimes, and when I am anxious I go for a walk,” said Warfield. Then ask: “Do you think that could help you? What works for you?”
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METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / APRIL 2020 9
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