The Teen Years (ABOUT SEX) t
Editor’s note: This column is the first in a series of four by the experts at local nonprofit Thrive OKC to empower families and caregivers to talk to their kids, in developmentally- appropriate ways, about sexual health. Each column will focus on a different age range of child and provide ideas of topics to cover, conversation starters and resources.
BY RONNEAL MATHEWS , THRIVE OKC
At every phase, our kids’ brains are growing and changing. As they grow, they become more and more capable of building upon lessons learned during early childhood, and they are gaining more of the skills they will need to be healthy, thriving adults. During the teen years, specifically between the ages of 13 and 19, young people are more capable of abstract thinking, forming their own ideas and considering different points of view. As parents and caregivers, talking about sexuality at every phase of development is an important part of raising healthy kids. Although many teens receive basic sex education in school, it is important for parents to supplement what their children are learning by conveying family values and taking advantage of teachable moments that might help young people apply what they have learned.
At every developmental stage, parents and caregivers should be having conversations about healthy relationships, consent, anatomy and puberty. During the teen years, these Conversation Starters
conversations might cover: HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
What does it take to build a healthy relationship? Young people at this age may become more interested in having romantic relationships with their peers. It is important that they understand what it takes to have healthy relationships when they start to date. Talk to them about healthy communication (including how to engage in and resolve conflicts), having respect for relationship partners and developing healthy ideas about intimacy (not just sex). What are some of the signs of an unhealthy relationship? How do I get help if I am in an unhealthy relationship? Sometimes teens can find themselves involved in unhealthy relationships. This may involve power imbalance where one or both partners controls or manipulates the other to get what they want; disrespectful or harmful communication like persistent arguing, belittling or shaming and even physical violence. Make sure teens know they can talk to you or other trusted adults in their lives to get help. Have these conversations before kids begin dating so they have a plan for exiting unhealthy relationships.
Key Talking Points
When it comes to sexual health, the teen years are a good time to help the young people in our lives to: • Think about their future. For example, what kinds of intimate relationships do they want to form? What does it look like to have a healthy relationship? • Clarify their values around sexual health and think about how they can best live lives that reflect those values. • Learn how to take care of themselves both physically and emotionally. • Think about how to become the people they want to be for themselves and how to be good intimate partners for others.
50 METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / NOV-DEC 2021
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