CONSENT What is consent as it relates to sexual intimacy? When children are younger, the concept of consent can be taught by letting them know they don’t have to give or receive affection such as hugs or kisses — even to relatives — if they are uncomfortable doing so. This sets a good foundation for how teens give and receive consent when they engage in intimate relationships. Teach kids that consent is required for all forms of intimacy. According to Planned Parenthood, consent is as easy as FRIES! In other words, consent is: ▪ Freely given: no one has been pressured or manipulated into participating. ▪ Reversible: either partner can decide to stop at any time, even once a sexual act has begun. ▪ Informed: everyone should agree to the terms of intimacy (for example, intercourse can only happen if a condom is used). ▪ Enthusiastic: you only engage in the intimate acts you really want to engage in and can decline to participate in activities that make you uncomfortable or are not desired. ▪ Specific: just because you agree to one specific activity doesn’t mean you consent to all activities (for example, just because I’m OK with kissing doesn’t mean I agree to have intercourse). ANATOMY AND PUBERTY What are the parts of my reproductive system and what do they do? Teens may become more curious about their bodies and how they work, especially as it relates to sex. Talk to your kids about how their bodies may respond to sexual stimulation and how to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including abstinence and different forms of contraception. How do I take care of my reproductive health? As your kids grow, they need to learn more about how to keep their bodies clean and healthy. Ongoing conversations about healthy eating, exercise, good hygiene and self-care are important at
this and every stage. There are many free and low-cost resources where teens can get tested for STIs and address other reproductive health concerns like urinary tract infections (UTIs), yeast infections or menstrual health. PORNOGRAPHY and Sexually Explicit Media This is a tough conversation for many parents to even think about having, but the truth is, our kids are living in a different world than the one we grew up in. If your child has a cell phone, a computer or tablet with internet access, the reality is they have probably come across some form of pornography, whether intentionally or inadvertently. Even movies, TV shows and commercials can sometimes contain sexually suggestive content. Use this as an opportunity to discuss and reinforce your family’s values around sex and relationships, teach about consent and establish open, shame-free communication about sex and bodies. Also, set up parental controls on your children’s devices and have conversations with your kids about your expectations for how they use the internet and consume media. RESOURCES for Parents of Teens Books 1. 30 Days of Sex Talks for Ages 12+: Empowering Your Child with Knowledge of Sexual Intimacy 2. It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex and Sexual Health by Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley 3. My Body, Myself by Lynda Madras 4. Got Teens? The Doctor Moms’ Guide to Sexuality, Social Media and other Adolescent Realities by Logan Levkoff, Ph.D. and Jennifer Wider Websites and Video Resources 2. Amaze: youtube.com/c/amazevids Find more resources for parents and caregivers at thriveokc.org. Find the full series of Talking to Kids About Sex articles, plus a podcast with expert advice on how to handle topics like consent, puberty and pornography, at metrofamilymagazine.com/ talking-to-kids-about-sex. 1. Sex Positive Families: sexpositivefamilies.com
SECOND SATURDAY
12-3 p.m.
There’s something new every time! Visit okcontemp.org for this month’s themes! • Art projects • Art demos • Performances • Tasty treats and more! FREE family-friendly art event
405.951.0000 | @okcontemporary 11 NW 11th St, OKC, OK 73103
METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / NOV-DEC 2021 51
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