Warfield also reminds parents to be attuned to each child’s emotional and mental needs. “Sometimes a lot of togetherness can create challenges, so giving a child space is important,” said Warfield. “Maybe one child is extroverted but another is introverted so you can help set a boundary by saying, ‘Brother or sister needs time alone right now’ and help that child find a quiet place to reset.” Navigate a tough crowd Sometimes holiday gatherings inevitably force you to see that one relative who gets under your skin or navigate uneasy conversations you wish weren’t brought up at the Thanksgiving table. Nevertheless, Neal advises to focus on positivity. “You don’t want to go into a situation with hypothetical stress thinking ‘this will happen and then this will happen’ and all of a sudden you are getting worked up before the event even arrives,” said Neal. “Don’t stress yourself out. But if you know there is a trigger conversation, word or person, be comfortable with excusing yourself and moving away from that room or change the subject if you can’t walk away. You can also consider bringing a friend to the party who
reacting sensitively or internalizing things,” said Warfield. “For example, someone might get hurt by a boundary and say, ‘You don’t trust me with your kids.’ The parent can respond sensitively and say, ‘I’m not saying this because I don’t trust you.’ Sometimes just speaking that into existence can help you start to overcome those challenges.” Ultimately, in households with dual parents, whether it is one or both parents having the boundary-setting conversation, Warfield says it is important to use “we” language and demonstrate a united front. “Saying things like, ‘We believe this is important’ or ‘We are upholding these routines for these reasons’ is essential so that it doesn’t create an enemy and the guest misinterpreting a boundary as, ‘Oh this is happening because so-and-so doesn’t like it,’” said Warfield. Keep children happy and safe It’s never too early to start teaching children how to set their own boundaries. On the note of hosting guests, Neal advises parents to allow relationships to develop organically between their children and extended family and friends. “A lot of times, we try to force things and tell children, ‘Go give this person a hug or kiss,’ which communicates to them that they have to allow someone else to be in control of their body,” explained Neal. “Ensure your child understands what consent means and that they know you will support them if they don’t want to give someone a hug. If a child isn’t comfortable with a person, respect that and make sure they know you support them.”
makes you feel empowered.” It’s OK to say no
Maybe your sister hosted a holiday dinner last year, so everyone’s expecting you to host this year. Or everyone loves your pies and antic-
www.yukonok.gov/ChristmasInThePark
Nov. 20 - Dec. 31 Nightly 6:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m.
An illuminated tour of 5 million twinkling lights in Yukon, OK! City Park, Freedom Trail Park, and Chisholm Trail Park.
Pre-K through eighth grade 600 NW 44 Street, OKC 405-524-0631 westminsterschool.org
For more information, contact Rebecca Skarky, Director of Admissions, at 405-524-0631 ext. 123
Walk Or Drive Through The Lights
Ice Skate At The Outdoor Yukon Ice Rink
Westminster School admits students of any race, color, religion, or national and ethnic origin. It does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, religion, or national and ethnic origin in administration of its educational policies, financial aid program, athletic, and other school-administered activities.
Ride The Santa Express Train
METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / NOV-DEC 2021 53
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