FAMILY MENTAL WELLNESS
While there are many skills parents long to instill in their kids, one quality that can carry them through life’s ups and downs is resilience. Big life changes — like moving, parents getting divorced or experiencing the death of a loved one — can force kids to learn resilience, but Edmond-based clinical and school psychologist Dr. Lisa Marotta says there are everyday moments that provide opportunities for resilience building, too. Raising Resilient Children BY APRIL DORNIDON DEOCARIZA. PHOTOS PROVIDED.
“Resilience is the ability to bounce back when life does not go the way that you think that it should,” explained Dr. Marotta. “Resilience is dealing with the unpredictable and uncertain. We have to be able to quickly respond, adapt and be effective in how we adapt.” Dr. Marotta is quick to point out that many families have already had a lot of practice in resilience during the coronavirus pandemic. Dealing with things like school closures, adapting to virtual learning and missed events like birthday parties have all been resilience- building opportunities for families.
“In our culture, there is this tendency for parents to look at childhood as kind of this blissful time where kids are innocent and don’t need to be stressed by the world,” said Dr. Marotta. “But actually, from a psychological standpoint, we want them to be able to learn how to manage stress because life is stressful. There are tricky things that happen all the time where kids need to be able to get calm, manage their emotions and have clarity of mind to be able to say, ‘So what do I do now?’ You figure out what you do, you make that choice and then how you evaluate that is where you get further growth.” Resilience in action The month of April is designated as the Month of the Military Child by the Department of Defense Military Community and Family Policy in recognition of the sacrifices military children face day in and day out as their parent, or parents, are serving in the Armed Forces. Oftentimes, military kids have to learn resilience at a very early age as they navigate constant change with deployments, frequent moves to a parent’s new duty assignment and new schools. For the Williams family, the biggest challenge came when they had to uproot their family from Oklahoma City to Virginia. Josh, an Air Force Major, and Amanda, a photographer, had to identify varied coping strategies for their two daughters, 4-year-old Mya and 12-year-old Ava Casillas, as they responded differently to the change.
MYA WILLIAMS PREPARES FOR HER FAMILY’S MOVE TO VIRGINIA.
4 quick tips to help kids navigate challenges 1. Acknowledge the child’s emotions. 2. Model a sense of calm. 3. Concentrate on effectiveness rather than efficiency: don’t rush them to resolution and don’t solve the problem for them. 4. Encourage kids to ask for help when they need it in processing emotions and solutions.
AVA CASILLAS BOARDS HER NEW SCHOOL BUS AFTER THE FAMILY MOVED TO VIRGINIA.
14 METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / MAR-APR 2022
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