Mom Talk
(LEFT) THE SOELL FAMILY. PHOTO BY PAIGE POWELL.
Raising a teenager with special needs isn’t all that “different”
SARAH AND DAUGHTER KERSTIN CELEBRATE WORLD DOWN SYNDROME DAY ON MARCH 21. PHOTO BY TAYLOR MADE PHOTOGRAPHY.
BY SARAH SOELL
Setting clear expectations When it comes to raising a teenage child with special needs, it really isn’t any different than raising a child without. With Kerstin, we have always corrected poor behavior with consistent messaging. We also try to set a good example, as children mimic adult behavior. In our household, everyone is expected to be respectful and kind. When it comes to Kerstin and behavior we don’t support, we talk through the situation so she has a clear understanding of what she did wrong. The challenge we face is many people want to give her a pass. For example, if Kerstin wants a snack at the concession stand, she will walk up and ask for a one, and she will be given it without paying. I will then have to walk her back to the stand with money in tow. She must pay for the snack she “took” and apologize. But I always get the same reply from those working: “Oh it’s fine, she can have it.” While I understand the gesture, Kerstin needs to learn that not all things will be given to her. She can’t do that as an adult. Of course, like all teenagers, Kerstin gets embarrassed when called out, but she now asks for money to go to the concession stand. And we use this as an opportunity to teach her about money management.
I have three children, ages 18, 15 and 12 — two girls and one boy. Kerstin, my 15-year-old daughter, has Down syndrome. She is the glue that holds our family together. She brings us joy, laughter and love. I can’t imagine our family without her. My husband and I decided early on we would raise Kerstin like any other child, have the same expectations and love her unconditionally.
24 METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / MAR-APR 2022
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