FAMILY MENTAL WELLNESS
5 Steps to address
anxiety in children
BY DR. ERICA FAULCONER
1 The initial step is to help children recognize when they are feeling anxious or stressed . Parents can help bring this to their child’s attention when they notice something is worrying them. Address these feelings with your child in a calm manner and avoid confronting them when they are at the peak of stress or emotion. 2 Affirm these feelings in your child. Give them a name. Reassure them that feeling mad and frustrated or scared and worried is OK. Refrain from belittling your child’s stress or anxiety. The last thing we as parents want to do is make our child feel shame for how they feel. Let them know that we are all allowed to feel whatever feelings come to us even if we aren’t always allowed to act on those feelings. 3 The next step is to work on a list of triggers , or things that seem to bring about stress or anxiety most often. These are very different for each child. Some may be overwhelmed with large amounts of school work and home responsibilities while others may react more strongly toward social or world events. Communication is key here as is helping children learn to develop self-introspection.
4 The final, and seemingly most difficult thing, can be finding ways to mitigate this stress . These could include exercise, reading, journaling, listening to music, counting, deep breathing exercises or med - itation. Helping your child find the activity that centers them and relaxes them is the key (and a great practice for parents, too!) 5 While these coping strategies can help in many situations, knowing when to seek professional help and guidance is vital. If your child is canceling typical activities with friends, has lost interest in activities that used to excite them or becoming aggressive toward others, or you have concern that they are a danger to themselves or others, it is time to see your child’s doctor, psychologist and/ or psychiatrist. Calling or making an appointment with your child’s pediatrician is a great first step toward finding the kind of professional help that will be most beneficial for your child’s situation. Anxiety and stress do not often go away throughout our lives; rather they change and evolve over time. Things that seemed stressful at 13 years of age may seem silly at 40 years old, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t challenging to the person who is affected. The goal for every parent is to help guide our children to become independent and successful adults. Self awareness and behavioral health is an important milestone in this journey.
Anxiety and stress. We are living in an era in which these feelings seem to rule our existence. Many of us deal with anxiety in our normal everyday lives, but with the addition of social distancing and isolation, these emotions are more pronounced than ever. Adults are not the only ones affected by stress and anxiety. Our children and teens are dealing with new and unsettling emotions as well. Adolescent children and teens in particular often exhibit different outward signs of stress than we would expect; they tend to be more affected than other ages due to increased responsibility, puberty and social stressors. Emotions can range from anger and aggression to withdrawal and moodiness. We all deal with stress differently, and we also allow stress and anxiety to affect our lives in different ways. Just as we are teaching our children via school and in life skills, it is important to teach them how to recognize and manage stress and anxiety. We also need to talk to them about both healthy and unhealthy ways to manage our worries. Follow these steps to open those doors of conversation with your children:
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Editor’s note: This column is the second in a 12-month series on family mental wellness, written by local experts on topics pertinent to parents and children. Columnists include Dr. Faulconer, Thai-An Truong, LPC, LADC, in private practice as a postpartum therapist and mom of two; Stacey Johnson, LPC, (@staceyjohnsonlife) in private practice at The Purple Couch and mom of eight; and Dr. Lisa Marotta. a psychologist, writer, speaker and mom in private practice in Edmond.
34 METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / JUNE 2020
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