“… my mom believes in me, my dad believes in me, God believes in me and I believe in me.” Isaiah
Two things are important about these affirmations: 1. When our kids are confident in who they are, they don’t feel the need to tear others down so much. This works wonders with adults, too, by the way. 2. Most importantly, they say these mantras in front of each other, they hear each other and this helps them to receive with their ears what amazing characteristics each other has, fostering a celebratory spirit in and for one another! Creating identity mantras Identify mantras can be as short as three to five fun sentences, and your child can help you come up with it. Just give them a launching line or two and let them try a couple. There’s freedom here, and you can change it! When you’ve got a good few lines of affirmation, write them out on a sheet of paper or poster board, decorate it and post for all to see. Say the mantras each night (this helps calm the evening mind, too!) and on that car ride to school or dinner. Bonus points: let them help make a momma mantra, too! They will see the value in speaking life and learn the importance of positive language for self-esteem, and they’ll have a tried and true answer for any negative comments. If my boys are called a name by each other — or even a fellow classmate — they have used their affirmations as a response. And if
they really get to know each other’s mantras, if one brother takes a verbal shot at another, you better believe they can make a repair by dishing back positivity, starting with “You are a masterpiece…” Anywhere and everywhere we have our words, and that is power we can help our kids to recognize and use as tools to grow closer and see the best in each other! Stacey Johnson is a licensed professional counselor in private practice at The Purple Couch where she leads individual and group counseling and co-leads couples counseling with her husband. She holds a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy and certification in experiential therapy and the Daring Way curriculum to help women develop shame resilience and transformative courage. She is founder of Single Space, a community of encouragement for single women that meets across chapters in three cities every year, a speaker and leader of whole health women’s mastermind groups and host of The Girly Bliss podcast. Her greatest joy and accomplishment are her eight children. Follow her on Instagram @staceyjohnsonlife or her website staceyjohnson.life. Editor’s note: This column is the third in a 12-month series on family mental wellness, written by local experts on topics pertinent to parents and children. Columnists include Johnson, Thai-An Truong, LPC, LADC, in private practice as a postpartum therapist and mom of two; Dr. Lisa Marotta, a psychologist, writer, speaker and mom in private practice in Edmond; and Dr. Erica Faulconer, pediatrician with Northwest Pediatrics and mom of three.
36 METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / SEPTEMBER 2020
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