Navigating Stress and Anxiety as Kids Return to School SPONSORED BY
A s kids re-enter the classroom this fall, it’s natural for them to experience a mix of excitement and apprehension. For some, however, these emotions can escalate into anxiety that affects their well-being and academic performance. Understanding the signs and symptoms and knowing when to seek help are crucial for parents, but so is knowing how to regulate your own emotional responses during a time of year that’s chaotic for caregivers, too. “All transitions can be stressful,” said Traci Bartley, licensed clinical social worker and Behavioral Health Director for Aetna Better Health® of Oklahoma. “The body can’t tell the difference between good stress and bad stress, and everybody feels the impact of the seasonal shift of this transition in different ways.” The good news? The start of the school year is the perfect time to incorporate whole-family habits to support everyone’s mental health. Bartley offers six key strategies for parents to help kids manage school-related worries, beginning with regulating our own stress first. Model good mental health practices. Children mirror their parents’ behaviors, including how they manage stress or anxiety. When parents regulate their emotions well, kids follow suit. This process can begin with a heightened awareness of where you, as the parent, feel stress in your body. “Your body will let you know,” said Bartley. “If you know your shoulders get tense [when you’re stressed], pay attention and then tap into self-care and coping strategies.” Know what triggers your stress responses (like running late to the school pick-up line) and remove or alleviate what you can. Then, consider what forms of self-care are most beneficial for you. “That could be going to therapy, going to the gym, regulating your breathing,” suggests Bartley. “Show your kids how you take care of yourself. Social-emotional learning is one of the best things parents can contribute to a child’s life.” How to understand, support and empower your child — and yourself BY ERIN PAGE
Schedule regular family meetings. Set aside time weekly to discuss family logistics and conduct a mental health check-in. “Oftentimes people wait to have conversations until they’re in a crisis or there’s an argument,” said Bartley. “Family meetings keep everyone on the same page, plus you can work on mental health skills.” After you’ve addressed chores, work and activities, have everyone rate their mood, name what they’re thankful for or give a compliment to another family member. Family meetings can also address conflicts. Encourage dialogue and practice active listening. Help kids develop a vocabulary around feelings. Schedule a family night to watch one of the Inside Out movies, then discuss which emotion you identified with most and why. “Using things in popular culture to stimulate conversation — like books or movies — is a nice jumping off point for family connection and conversation,” said Bartley. While extended time in the car can feel like a drag, kids often open up during these intervals when you’re not looking directly at each other. Approach kids with curiosity, rather than judgement, when trying to gauge the status of their mental health and focus on open-ended questions. “When behavior changes, it can be really scary,” said Bartley. “But don’t go into worst-case-scenario mode. When you’re afraid, you look for ways to control a situation, and that can invite a power struggle as the child is also trying to maintain control. Be brave in those moments and focus on being curious and learning more.” Avoid minimizing or dismissing kids’ feelings, even when they don’t seem like a big deal as an adult. There may be something more beneath the surface. With teens in particular, respect their boundaries and spend intentional time with them without asking an overload of questions. “You might say: ‘I sense that you don’t want to talk right now and I respect that. I would love to hear about your day when you want to share,’” said Bartley. “That leaves the door open.” Practice healthy coping skills. Share the coping strategies that work for you and encourage kids to try them. Make time to have fun together as a family — perhaps playing a sport or visiting a local museum or park.
42 Healthy Families Guide
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