Intentional parenting: How setting goals and values strengthens families
BY ERIN PAGE . PHOTOS PROVIDED.
“Some things were practical, like brushing their teeth without being asked,” said Gunn. “Others were things they wanted to accomplish that year.” The experience was so positive and profound the Gunns wanted to encourage other families to do the same through goal-setting workshops. Family-iD was born in 1996 and became a 501(c)3 in 2003. Gunn sold his financial services company in 2009 to focus full time on helping families become more intentional in planning their family and parenting successes. “As parents, most of the time we take things day by day, dealing with things as they come and hoping it turns out for the best,” said Derek England, administrative director for Family-iD. “But the most important and successful things in life take incredible intention, sacrifice and direction.” England’s family attended a Family-iD workshop seven years ago and it drastically changed how they approach life. In the workshops, families identify shared values, set goals and learn how to put each other first. Involving everyone in the family, kids too, in that planning process creates ownership and
a shared vision for moving forward together. That intentionality then influences behaviors for everyone in the family. “When a family has a vision or core identity, then behaviors become acceptable or unacceptable based on that,” said England. Family-iD workshops in action To start the process, the entire family attends a Family-iD workshop together. Each person writes his or her personal values and then together families identity their core values as a group. Deep conversations often ensue about why the family values things like kindness, responsibility or faith. “There is a level of relationship and conversation that just wouldn’t happen without knowing [the core values],” said England. “Then it becomes this basis for communication, like when you sit down with your son or daughter to talk about something that’s gone on at school and you can look back at [the values] they wrote down; that is gold.” Gunn encourages families to review their shared and individual goals regularly, but even families who admit they forget to do so have later said their kids were still able to accomplish their goals.
Siblings without rivalry … kids who respond graciously to the word “no” … teens choosing family over outside influences … sound too good to be true? Greg Gunn, founder of Family-iD, has discovered these seemingly- utopian ideas can be realities for any family. A self-proclaimed goal-setting fanatic in his business life, more than 20 years ago a friend challenged Gunn to a new kind of goal setting, for his family. Greg and wife Rhonda wrote a vision statement for their family and considered goals for each of their children, with the kids’ input.
10 METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / FEBRUARY 2020
Made with FlippingBook - PDF hosting