12 Months OF Family Fun
“Even just writing a goal, there’s power in that,” said Gunn. “It helps kids learn to be intentional and become goal setters, which will help them be successful in life.” Beyond identifying shared values and goals, families spend a great deal of time considering sibling relationships and what it means to be an interdependent family. According to England, how siblings treat each other in the home is the basis for all other relationships they will experience in life, especially as they eventually seek out a life partner. England calls unresolved sibling rivalry one of the greatest threats to family interdependence and “as serious as burning the house down.” “Everybody in a family should be able to turn toward each other to get their identity needs met by the family,” said England. “If those needs are met, who I am, what I’m about, that I’m seen, heard and valued, they won’t turn to get those needs met outside the family.” While kids and their relationships with each other will never be perfect, by focusing on the principle that siblings should treat each other better than their best friends and not allowing siblings to intentionally be mean to or hurt each other, the family bond is strengthened and kids are less likely to succumb to negative peer pressure outside the home. Another key parenting issue addressed in
Family-iD workshops is teen rebellion. England says parents who are willing to be vulnerable and admit when they are wrong goes a long way toward building a relationship of trust. “Children don’t rebel against authority, they rebel against a lack of relationship,” said England. “Being quick to admit and ask for forgiveness brings a healing relationship to a teen that almost nothing else can do.” When requiring children in the home to treat each other with respect and kindness, parents should remember the same holds true for them. England laughingly says teens are always willing to help keep parents accountable for their actions and behaviors, another positive step in helping teens feel valued and respected. Gunn advocates role playing with kids of all ages, teaching key principles like conflict resolution and forgiveness in times of non- conflict, a practice his now-grown children remember with fondness and laughter. His adult children often attend workshops to serve as positive examples for families that intentional parenting does make a difference in the long run, even if it’s hard to see whether kids are really understanding what parents are teaching them in the short term. “When you are continually giving [your kids] moral and practical reasons, eventually it gets in there,” said Gunn.
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Family-iD is hosting a FREE workshop for MetroFamily readers! Saturday, April 18 from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. CHK | Central Boathouse, 732 Riversport Dr. For more information and to register, visit www.metrofamilymagazine.com/family-id-free-workshop.
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METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / FEBRUARY 2020 11
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