Finalist Cheryl Gruntmeir
verbal. Felty calls Kayla her first and most important teacher as she’s learned both how to advocate for Kayla and to communicate with, understand and always respect her daughter, whose behavior at times, she confesses, has been hard to manage. Felty often reminds Kayla that she’ll have to teach her how to understand her, and throughout the years Kayla has come up with clever ways to do just that, like humming “Happy Birthday” to indicate she wants dessert. From her dry sense of humor to her love of music, Felty calls Kayla her four leaf clover, valued as precious and unique. “She doesn’t operate from any worldly prejudice,” said Felty. “Everyone is equal to her. She will offer respect if you respect her.” Among Felty’s many roles, one of her most cherished is coordinating a quarterly meeting for all the families who, like she once did, have a loved one on the waiting list for OKDHS Developmental Disabilities Services. Felty says there are currently more
from a wheelchair into the bathroom because the chair wouldn’t fit through the door. After one of Felty’s meetings, the mom’s connections led to getting her bathroom door widened enough to fit the chair, a tangible example of their community coming together to solve a parent’s struggle.
“Because of Kayla I am a whole different person. My life changed and I hope my life makes other people’s lives better, too.” Wanda Felty
BY FOTO ARTS PHOTOGRAPHY
“Advocacy is not always about holding up signs,” said Felty. “It’s really about holding each other up, figuring out what worked for me and how that can help you.” Felty says the individuals currently being processed on the Developmental Disabilities Services waiting list applied in 2007. Though that long wait time is discouraging, Felty is seeing progress made in the funding appropriated, from $7 million over the past 10 years to $2 million over each of the last two years and the potential for $6 million in the governor’s requested budget for the upcoming year. “This tells me advocacy is making a difference,” said Felty. “We are no longer unknown and the decision makers are taking action. One voice is just a whisper, but many become a roar.” Though Felty is quick to deflect attention from herself, her husband asserts that she is making a tremendous difference as an advocate and spokesperson for those 5,000 families on the waiting list for state services. Felty wishes she could take away Kayla’s disabilities so she could lead a typical life, but she’s grateful, too, for everything she’s learned as Kayla’s mom. “Because of Kayla I am a whole different person,” said Felty. “My life changed and I hope my life makes other people’s lives better, too.”
Cheryl Gruntmeir has always known she wanted to foster children. She is adopted herself, and before she and husband Jon married, she explained that a life with her would include fostering. Jon was all in, but the couple had no idea when and what fostering would look like for them. Years later, the parents of five found out. One of their oldest daughter’s friends had been spending a lot of time at their home when, unbeknownst to the Gruntmeirs, the teen ran away from her home to ask law enforcement to remove her from her traumatic living situation. The Gruntmeirs, who were completely unaware of her difficult home life, immediately took her in. When asked where she’d like to live long-term, the teen requested her biological mom, whom no one had heard from in a long time. Undeterred, Gruntmeir and a friend began scouring Facebook, eventually finding and messaging the mom, Brandy Williams, who called Gruntmeir on Thanksgiving Day. “The first thing I said was I don’t care what you’ve done or what you’ve been through, there’s no judgment here, I just wanted to know how I could help her come and fight for her daughter,” recalls Gruntmeir.
WANDA AND DAUGHTER KAYLA
than 5,000 people in the state of Oklahoma waiting for services, which are allocated on a first-come, first-served basis. “When Kayla was on the waiting list I thought nobody cared,” said Felty. “I don’t want anyone else to feel like they are alone.” Felty brings in leaders from OKDHS and other agencies that support people with disabilities to listen to the families and offer interim solutions while they wait for state services. Attendees also benefit from parent- to-parent emotional support and resource sharing. Felty remembers a single, working mom was struggling to transfer her daughter
12 METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / MAY 2020
Made with FlippingBook - Online magazine maker