2 Communicate, communicate, communicate. Did I mention communicate? Before your child creates an account on social media, talk to them about these important issues and check in often to remind them along the way. Beware the highlight reel. Their social media feeds will inevitably include filtered photos of their fellow students with flawless skin, make-up and hair. Remind your child that what they see online is someone’s best moments (and often airbrushed at that). No one is going to post unflattering photos, the D they got on their math test or videos of them fighting with their parents and siblings. Kids need to be reminded to never compare their day-to-day with someone’s highlight reel. That’s a losing situation for anyone, adults included. What happens online, stays online. Write this down, frame it and hang it in their room. What they post online is there forever. The good and the bad. The kind words and the hurtful ones. The flattering images and the embarrassing ones. They’re all there for everyone to see, save and share. For eternity. To infinity and beyond. You get the picture. But your child may not. They need to understand the short- and long-term implications of what they choose to post in the social media universe. Something inappropriate or hurtful could, in the short-term, cost them a friend. In the long-term, it could negate a college or career opportunity. Stress kindness and inclusivity. Social media has brought people together, which is great. But it has also made it easier for kids to get bullied or be the bully. First and foremost, reinforce the importance of kindness. Encourage your child to appreciate and embrace everyone’s differences. And let them know they can always come to you if they’re having a problem so you can find a solution together. Speak to their teacher or principal to understand the school’s policies when it comes to student conflict online. Learn what your options are if your child is being bullied. And remind your child of the consequences for picking on someone else. Stranger danger. This phrase is just as apropos for in-person interactions as it is online. Apps like TikTok, YouTube, Facebook and Snapchat as well as various video games open kids up to people from anywhere in the world. Explain to kids that not everyone is who they appear to be and remind them not to share information or images with people they don’t know. Be clear about your expectations of who they are allowed to interact with online and talk about the dangers of interacting with and sharing information with strangers. 1 Make your children work for it and keep them accountable. Think of social media as a privilege, not a right. And one your child must earn. Have your kids prove they’re ready. Latimer has a plan for when her little one asks for a TikTok account (or whatever app reigns supreme at that time). They must do their own research and prove to her they’re ready for the responsibility. She wants them to learn the pros and cons of the medium and have an open conversation about their findings. Have your children research and report back to you about which platform they want to use, why they believe they are ready, how they will behave online and when they will come to you if they have questions or problems. Let’s be friends. Make it a rule that your child must “friend” you (and that includes on any secret accounts, if they have them). This way you can keep an eye on their activity and keep them accountable for their actions. Koehler also sees it as an opportunity to learn more about your child. I’ve yet to venture into the tight-lipped teen years where communication is typically done in monosyllabic words, but as I envision that future, I appreciate his point. Seeing what your kids are posting, their friends list and likes can shed light on their passions, ever-changing personality and world views. Use parental apps. There are several apps that monitor online activity, including for text messages, emails, YouTube viewing and social media posts. One of the top-ranked companies is called Bark. For an annual fee, they monitor your child’s activity, look for potential safety concerns and send you a convenient dashboard. But remember, these apps aren’t foolproof. It’s still important to check in with your child and see for yourself what they’re up to online.
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