While you’ve got them, I recommend three things:
• Drugs, alcohol, dating, skin care and being self-aware when you’re walking into your apartment at night after getting home from that job — also job hunting and boundaries with bosses. • Oh, also good car care, safe friendships, vitamins, mammograms, social media and - and - and YAY ADULTHOOD … it’s going to be great. For a time I was a single mom carrying this torch of life, love and other mysteries I would hand down to my teens. The importance of this calling was not lost on me. After having cancer and enduring a hysterectomy, I waited and prayed for so many years before finally becoming a mom — MY DREAM! When that dream came true, I did not take the gift lightly. I wanted to get it all right and get it all in during those short 18 years we had together because once they could fly the coop, they — along with the bulk of any opportunity I had to “train them up in the way they should go”— would also be gone. I was banking on that Biblical scripture promise and my faith in God that training them, raising them well, would be my best shot at honoring them as their mother. So, I got strategic. And now on the other side of raising them, I am so glad I did. I worry less now because I can look back knowing I fought to be intentional, present and to be me. Are you confident in your parenting? You’re going to need that boldness to survive this season. Let’s take a look at a few things I think can help. To clarify is to empower!
1
Be intentional with your words and time. For children, even our teens and adult kiddos, time = LOVE. Remember that list I rambled off? Sit with it. Make a list of what’s important to you, what you want your teen to know and dedicate some real time to meaningful conversations around any and every topic you want to cover with them. I have found that avoiding the work of motherhood is what makes motherhood hardest. Without taking the time to pinpoint the values and tools you want your teen to leave home with, we can miss some of the sweetest moments of intentionality that make all the difference. Sometimes that looks like hard or awkward conversations to broach a meaningful topic that is best started in the safety of their own home before the world teaches them in ways that may not honor your family values. Over a few months, I walked through a “rights of passage” with my teens. We intentionally watched movies and had discussions to look at and discuss what kind of women they wanted to become. It’s OK to flat out tell them: “Sit with me, I want to talk to you about ________ and ________ and ________. I think these are important lessons as you’re growing up, and I want you to bring up anything else you want to talk about or have questions about. Let’s talk about all the things!” They will be glad to have a safe space and it will spur you both on to more topics! Communication is the bridge to everything.
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