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Show up. For them, yes, but also for you. Do you remember your mom laughing? Playing? Resting? Dancing? Reading? If you’re like me, I’ve found these are some of the most important treasures of life as an adult. And yet they’re so hard to get around to sometimes. But this is the stuff of life! You take good care of you, and your children will see the importance and beauty of taking care of themselves, too. I had to learn that every moment is not a teachable moment. Showing our kids the value of play and rest and even solitude are some of the greatest life tools we can give them. By seeing us play, pause, laugh, dance, nap, read and enjoy, their hearts will remind them of this as they get older and find themselves overwhelmed or stressed or in need of inspiration. Seeing you in your deepest joy and authentic freedom of self gives them permission to live that way, too. Have grace. As my daughters were growing up, I held sacred weight in the responsibility of raising young adults who would be fully equipped for anything, and rightly so! They are my heart walking around outside my body, loves of my life, my legacy! Also, I needed to chill on the pressure — on them and me. Finding the balance in parenting is a daily, sometimes moment by moment, job. Remember: of all the parents on the planet, it’s YOU who are called to be theirs. Your wisdom, values, hopes, words of life matter. Speak up and hold firm your boundaries that teach your teens both safety and freedom. Confidently steward the gift of authority and love you hold in their lives to guide them the best you can, where you are, with what you have. And realize no one is doing this perfectly.
Spoiler alert: they will do things their way, just like you and I did. All the more reason to give the very best foundation of truth and love we possibly can while they’re in our nests before releasing them into this wild, beautiful world of possibility. Find that sweet balance between mindful, intentional, strategic parenting — and also playing, resting, swimming, hiking, traveling, reading, dancing and, most definitely, laughing. Stacey Johnson is a licensed professional counselor in private practice at The Purple Couch. She holds a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy and certification in experiential therapy and the Daring Way curriculum to help women develop shame resilience and transformative courage. Her primary work is leading Magnify Mavens Mastermind, a dynamic 12-week whole-health and personal growth intensive for women. She is also founder of Single Space, a community of encouragement for single women and hosts The Girly Bliss Show podcast for women in every season. Her greatest joy and accomplishment are her eight children. Follow her on Instagram @staceyjlife or her website staceyjohnson.life. This column is the eighth in a year-long series on family mental wellness, written by local experts on topics pertinent to parents and children. Columnists include Johnson, Dr. Erica Faulconer, pediatrician at Northwest Pediatrics and mom of three; Thai-An Truong, LPC, LADC, in private practice as a postpartum therapist and mom of two; Jeanae Neal, registered behavior therapist and mom of one; and Dr. Lisa Marotta, a psychologist, writer, speaker and mom in private practice in Edmond.
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Westminster School admits students of any race, color, religion, or national and ethnic origin. It does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, religion, or national and ethnic origin in administration of its educational policies, financial aid program, athletic, and other school-administered activities.
Pre-K through eighth grade 600 NW 44 Street, OKC 405-524-0631 westminsterschool.org
For more information, contact Rebecca Skarky, Director of Admissions, at 405-524-0631 ext. 123
36 METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / MAR-APR 2021
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