police officer there was nothing in his bag so there was no need to search it. They took him to the sheriff’s office and we had to go sign him out. I was livid. But more than anything I was hurt. The “talk” did not work. My son was respectful, he did not talk back, he did not get loud, he did not resist, he was not in a “bad area” and he did not make sudden moments. I have had to change the “talk” to include: “Sadly, you can do all of the right things and still not be safe. Stay vigilant of your surroundings, and if you ever get pulled over by the police, carefully hit the record button on your phone. Keep your insurance and registration in your car’s sun visor so you don’t have to reach in your glove department and your hands are visible at all times. As demeaning as all this may sound, the goal is to always make it home unharmed and alive.” A call to white parents There is a stark contrast between the conversations white parents should have with their children versus what Black parents must discuss with their children. And if you are a white parent with Black children, you MUST give your Black children the “talk” as well.
Do not raise your children to believe that they don’t “see color” or that racism does not exist. Instead of ignoring individuals’ differences, celebrate them. We need you to acknowledge our color and see value in our differences. We need to build relationships with you without fear so you can understand our lived experiences. We need allies and advocates. We need support and to be heard. Racism exists, and we, as a society, must deal with it effectively, together. It’s crucial to have a discussion about race, racism and the unjust treatment of Black and brown people with your children now, but it’s equally important to continue the conversation when we’re not at a point of national outrage. Find additional resources for talking with kids about race and racism at metrofamilymagazine.com/racial-justice-okc. Editor’s note: Dr. Tamecca Rogers is a mom of three boys and director of diversity, equity and inclusion at Tulsa Technology Center. She holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology, a master’s in business administration and a doctoral degree in educational leadership. Prior to her time at Tulsa Tech, Dr. Rogers served five years as a hospital corpsman in the United States Navy and a combined six years as a high school instructor and college enrollment counselor. She has also held adjunct professor positions at multiple post-secondary institutions.
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34 METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / AUGUST 2020
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