MetroFamily Magazine March April 2024

Building a community of support A common fear among potential foster parents is that they will have to navigate the unknown waters of their journey alone. Mark has found that to be unfounded. The case workers the Hilderbrands have worked with have been extremely helpful, and Mark appreciates that, with their case workers’ help, they’ve been able to determine which kids will flourish best in their home. Jan and Mark have been intentional in building their own support system, too, relying on their church family to help provide resources and finding babysitters who can provide them a night off every so often. They have also served as a support system for the biological families of the kids in their care. The Hildebrands provide frequent encouragement to the biological families and they remind them that they aren’t there to take their children or take their place but rather to love their kids while they get the help they need. “We choose to love them as much as we possibly can,” said Jan of biological parents. “As long as they are trying, we will try with them.” Jan and Mark remain in contact with a sibling pair who left their home for their forever home with an aunt. They receive regular updates and photos and even get to see the girls often at their church. Another child in their care is on the path to reunification with her mom, and the Hilderbrands look forward to continuing to support their family. “We hope to fall into ‘grandparent mode,’” said Mark. “She [mom] knows we are there for her and she wants to be part of our lives. That’s so pleasing for us.”

Taking the next step More foster families like the Hildebrands are needed in Oklahoma, particularly for teens and sibling groups. Jan says foster parents don’t have to be superheroes and they don’t have to be perfect — they simply must be resolved to be committed and provide a lot of love, just like parents do every day with their own kids. For those families for whom fostering isn’t possible, there are plenty of ways to offer much-needed support, like providing a meal, clothing or other resources to a foster family or offering to babysit. “That support makes all the difference in the world,” said Mark. Learn more about becoming a foster family or supporting foster families at okfosters.org. Editor’s note: This article part of a series in partnership with Oklahoma Human Services about foster care in our state. Find the full series at metrofamilymagazine.com/foster-care.