Don’t Be BULLIED by the Holidays
Not long ago, I was introduced to an anti- bullying organization called Heroes In Waiting. I thought I’d already seen every anti-bullying message and video out there, but a couple things really struck me about this particular organization’s message. First, they do away with the labels of “bully” and “victim” and instead focus on behavior. They teach that behavior isn’t the person, and behavior can be changed. Also, they’re very clear that bullying behavior always includes a power differential: one individual trying to exert power over another. Those lessons made me think about this season and how so many times we allow the demands of the holidays – programs and activities, family pressures and obligations – to hold power over our families at a time that should be peaceful, reflective and joyful. Sometimes the bullying behavior we experience actually comes from ourselves. In that spirit, here are three ways to build harmony in your hosuehold this holiday season and beyond. 3 ways to promote peace in your household BY ANGIE LAPAGLIA
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Slow Down We’ve all been there: It’s 5:40 on the evening of the holiday program, your 7-year-old is refusing to let you brush her hair and she’s having a meltdown for the ages … you’re supposed to have her in the choir room at 6 p.m. One of the first things developmental pediatrician Dr. Mark Bertin tells overwhelmed parents is to slow down. Take a step back, ask what and who is contributing to the situation and put things in perspective. Is your daughter short on sleep? Has she already been to rehearsals two nights this week? Are you under pressure because you have a huge project due tomorrow and don’t really have time for this tonight? Stopping for a minute to survey the
situation always brings clarity. In this case, your daughter is probably exhausted. She doesn’t want to put on her “good clothes,” get out in the cold and perform for a bunch of strangers. And neither do you. Take a minute to acknowledge that and get through the evening together. Next, put the situation in perspective. What’s the worst thing that could happen? She gets to the choir room at 6:05 instead of 6 p.m.? Not life- altering. She’ll get in line and be on the bleachers just like everyone else’s kids. Her hair’s messy? The video you get will be historic, and you’ll have an awesome story to tell.
20 METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / NOV-DEC 2023
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