Talking to Kids about
Gender Diversity
Let’s Talk About... What is gender identity? When a person is born, they are assigned a gender based on their biology. This means they are assigned male or female based on their external genitalia. People may also be born intersex , which means a person is born with some combination of both male and female genitalia. It is important to note that even when a person is born intersex, doctors choose whether to assign the person as either female or male. As people grow, they may identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, which is called being cisgender . Or a person who is assigned female may feel they are male and a person born male may feel female, which is called transgender . In addition, a person may not feel they are male or female, which is called being non-binary, gender queer or gender fluid . attracted. A person who identifies as male may be attracted to people who identify as female, which is called heterosexual . A person who is attracted to someone who is assigned the same gender they were assigned at birth is considered homosexual . These are the most commonly known sexualities, but people may also be attracted to males and females ( bisexual ), any gender ( pansexual ) or may not experience sexual attraction to any gender ( asexual ). What is sexuality? Sexuality refers to whom a person is
BY DR. RONNEAL MATHEWS, THRIVE OKC
What is the difference between gender identity and sexuality? Gender identity is about how a person feels about themselves and sexuality is about how a person feels about others. A person’s gender identity has nothing to do with to whom they are sexually attracted. What are pronouns? The pronouns people use reflect a person’s gender identity. The most commonly known pronouns are she/her/hers and he/him/his. There are also a range of other pronouns a person may prefer. For example, a person who does not identify as male or female (non-binary, gender-fluid, gender-queer, etc.) might prefer other pronouns such as they/ them. There are also other pronouns such as ze, zir. It is not important to know all of the pronouns — what is important is to: • Ask for and use a person’s preferred pronouns. • If you are not in a position to ask, use the person’s name instead of pronouns. • If you make a mistake, apologize briefly, correct the mistake and move on.
The world is changing so fast that it can be difficult to keep up with all the new knowledge and language, especially when it comes to our understanding around gender diversity. Add in the fact that our kids may have lots of questions and our anxiety level goes up exponentially! The good news for us as parents is there are a lot of resources for families to learn to navigate this topic. Get started on the learning journey with the following common questions parents might have about gender diversity and tips on how to navigate these conversations with kids. Let’s go!
56 METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / SEPT-OCT 2022
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