REAL MOMS OF THE METRO
FINALIST Staci Howard Over the past year, Staci Howard has helped both her special education students and her six kids navigate a global pandemic, new ways of doing things and fear of the unknown. Finding space for her kids to complete schoolwork on virtual days while also teaching students virtually has been difficult. But Howard has long been equipped to deal with hard things. In her fifth year of teaching special education with EPIC Charter School, Howard says flexibility and consistency are key to relationship development and finding what works best for each student to individualize their experiences. With her children, ranging in age from 10 to 17, her biggest challenge has been creating a sense of normalcy over the past year. Even with the best laid plans and supports, frustration levels have been high, particularly when coupled with a divisive election season and the insurrection at the U.S. Capitol. “We’re very open with them and give them the facts they need to know but we’ve tried not to let the stress of the unknown get to the kids,” said Howard, who’s been intent upon infusing fun and connection into their days through family dinners and projects. Those strategies are similar to what Staci and husband Keith employed as they fostered four of their children, beginning in 2012, with a focus on being open with them about the facts of their case to give them a sense of control and understanding. That open communication from the beginning has led to a home where the Howard kids ask questions and no discussion topics are off limits. Now president of Circle of Care, Keith has managed foster care agencies and overseen shelters, adoption and transitional living programs throughout his career, but fostering their kids, a sibling set of four, was their first experience as a foster family. At the time, the
THE HOWARD FAMILY. PHOTO BY PAIGE RAINS PHOTOGRAPHY.
family lived in Amarillo, next to the emer- gency shelter Keith managed that primarily housed teens and sibling sets, often difficult to keep together in foster care placements. The Howards developed a bond with the sib- ling set, and their 4-year-old daughter, who loved visiting children at the shelter, asked why their family wasn’t fostering, sparking a determination in all of them. “When the kids first arrived, with their belongings in black trash bags and their fear and stress and anxiety, my heart just broke for them. We decided those four siblings needed a home — together — while their parents worked things out.” Staci Howard “When the kids first arrived, with their belongings in black trash bags and their fear and stress and anxiety, my heart just broke for them,” said Staci Howard. “We decided those four siblings needed a home — together — while their parents worked things out.” Keith had often been a first-hand witness to
sibling groups being split apart in foster care. When they’ve already lost nearly everything familiar in their lives — their parents, their home, their school and friends — taking them away from their siblings removes the one thing they have left. Staci Howard says older siblings are often very worried about younger siblings who they’ve been responsible for. The Howards weren’t initially intending to adopt; they supported the kids’ biological parents and reunification efforts wholeheartedly, but it was not successful, and the Howards adopted the children in 2015. The kids see their biological parents several times a year, typically in person though during the pandemic visits have occurred via Zoom. Knowing their biological parents are safe and that they haven’t forgotten them is healing for the Howard kids. “No matter what kids went through, that bond is still very strong and their bio parents are a part of them,” said Staci Howard. The family had an opportunity to share their story on Good Morning America in 2019, in hopes that viewers would see that fostering or adopting a sibling group is feasible for anyone and that while big families can be chaotic, it’s a lot of fun, too. “It’s not easy all the time but it’s not hard all the time either,” said Staci Howard. “We’ve had to adjust some things to make their lives
30 METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / MAY-JUNE 2021
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