FAMILY MENTAL WELLNESS
anxious thoughts and asking you if you think her negative thoughts are true. Write down what you’d say back to her. We’re often more likely to give grace, affirmation and validation to others than ourselves. It is important to remember to not use the cognitive model to seek certainty with intrusive thoughts, since 100 percent certainty is often not attainable regarding anything in life. Continuing to engage or argue with the content of the intrusive thoughts often keeps it around longer and makes the anxiety worse. Face the anxiety head on. Avoidance is the food that continues to feed the anxiety monster. Ask yourself what it is that you’re avoiding and begin to face it. Exposure and facing your fears will take some courage but will allow you to see that anxiety can be defeated. If you’re afraid of contamination, exposure may include refraining from washing your hands; if you’ve been avoiding the baby, you would start interacting with your baby alone starting at 30 minutes then increasing the length of time. If you’re having intrusive thoughts, instead of pushing them away or seeking reassurance from others, you’d sit with the thoughts and just let them be there. You could even write out a script of the worst case scenario and read it twice a day. While you’re facing your fears, it is important to sit with the anxiety instead of trying to suppress it. This may include facing sensations of anxiety where you allow your body to feel symptoms like your heart racing, sweating, discomfort, etc. You notice
these sensations as if you’re observing your body from outside of yourself, you let time pass and then proceed with life. Examine underlying emotions. When you’re anxious, there may actually be something that’s bothering you in the here-and- now that you’re sweeping under the rug. You’re often not dealing with it because you want to be nice or not rock the boat. There are two steps to this method: First, figure out what is bothering you. Look for patterns of increasing anxiety (for example, you have panic attacks or over-worry at night when you’re actually upset with your spouse for not helping out more with the bedtime routine). Second, you have to take action before the anxiety can get better (like having a healthy and open conversation with your partner and coming to a balanced solution that feels fair for both of you). If you or someone you love is dealing with postpartum anxiety, identifying symptoms and considering these methods to move toward healing are great starting points. Seek the help of a professional if you find yourself needing additional guidance and support. Editor’s note: This column is the seventh in a year-long series on family mental wellness, written by local experts on topics pertinent to parents and children. Columnists include Truong, Jeanae Neal, registered behavior therapist and mom of one; Dr. Erica Faulconer, pediatrician at Northwest Pediatrics and mom of three; Stacey Johnson, LPC, (@staceyjlife) in private practice at The Purple Couch and mom of eight; and Dr. Lisa Marotta, a psychologist, writer, speaker and mom in private practice in Edmond.
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