“ cherry bombs.” He is well liked by about half o f the college group, who agree that what he does is fun. A fte r a particularly unpleasant joke on some newly-weds, I visited with some o f these young people to reason with them, and they did not share my concern. What would you recommend that I do? Should I over look this immaturity and go on liv ing the way I believe, forgetting about others? A. What is a practical joker trying to accomplish? He is usually trying to draw attention to Jiimself because he is insecure. This can become a very serious matter because as time goes on, it may take a different form. When he gets married, for instance, he may find it impossible to adjust to the serious side of life and accept his responsibilities. He may want to spend his time with other people trying to impress them with his clev erness by playing the clown. This would be like waving a red flag all around saying, “ I’m immature, I want you to notice me.” Yes, he has a serious problem. Then, too, he is not very spiritual. If he were, he would want to be serving the Lord Jesus Christ. We read in God’s Word, “Whether there fore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory o f God” (I Cor. 10:31). He would have a difficult time saying, “ I am doing this for the glory o f God.” This is not normal behavior inasmuch as it shows a lack of consideration for others. This does not mean, however, that there is no place for humor and good, .clean fun. “ A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones” (Prov. 1 :22 ). As in all other matters in the Christian life, we need to maintain a balance. What can be done about a practi cal joker with no consideration for the rights and property o f others? If we understand why he is behav ing the way he is, and not look at him with the feeling, “ He’s just mean,” it will relieve our own an tagonism. Realizing that he is an im mature person and that he is doing this to gain attention; that this is a way o f showing an emotional prob lem, will go a long way toward help ing him. He 'needs friends. Try to make friends with such a person. Make time to get together with him and read the Word and pray together. Encourage him to get out to Christian camps and activi ties where he may grow in Christ. Direct his attention to worth-while things rather than foolishness. TH E KING'S BUSINESS
'ffilkUtfUMb with Dr. Clyde M. Narramore Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a nationally known psychologist. He is the director of one of America’s largest psy chological clinics / The Christian Counseling Center in Rosemead, California.
psychological or spiritual problems. You mentioned something near the last o f your letter which interested me considerably. You said that the grandparents live with you. So the girl actually has four parents. This is too many. A grandmother, for ex ample, because she’s in the house, often tells the daughter what to do and the daughter, having done it all her life, doesn’t realize that the mother is dictating to her and is overpowering her. But the grandchild does. At least she feels it. Even though the grandmother is nice to the child — bakes cookies and cakes and does all these nice things — she is exerting an influence on the child which is detrimental. A person may love her grandmoth er or grandfather very much, and yet inside feel a great, unconscious re sentment which he cannot talk about. I’d take a look at this possibility. You said that the father in the home is not very close to the chil dren. I’m wondering if you’ve talked to him very much. Every father should try to develop closer relation ships with his children. One o f the best ways to do it is just to be with them and have good times together. This girl may be rebelling and show ing resentment because the father has never been a father to her. She feels that she’s quite alone in the world — just she and her mother. So often the father is the key to a problem. COLLEGE CLOWN Q. My problem is concerned with the attitude o f some o f the members o f the college-age youth group in our church. W e do not agree on certain kinds o f behavior, and because o f my stand I have been labeled “ holier- than-thou.” The main area o f con flict centers around playing practi cal jokes fo r fun, as they call it. One fellow instigates many o f these jokes. He tramps on toes, trips peo ple, rolls people on the ground, and even resorts to fixing people’s cars by loosening the spark plugs, dump ing glove compartments, letting air out o f tires, or ( if the keys are left in a car) taking it fo r a ride with out permission. He also sets off many
WILLFUL CHILD Q. I ’m wondering i f you can help me. Our younger daughter, ju st 13, is giving me much concern. She is so willful, and she resents authority at home. In school she makes good grades and seems to do as she is told. How ever, at home she resents most every one. She especially seems to hate her older sister. The older girl is an ex cellent student and has other out standing abilities. W e do not con sciously make comparisons, but the younger girl feels that we do. She is just as talented and capable, but doesn’t care to work as hard. She puts everything off till the last min ute, even to leaving fo r school each morning. My parents live with us and so she has too many adults constantly at her. I love both daughters, but I seem unable to cope with their problems. Their father isn’t very close to them, so he can’t help much. Please advise me as soon as possi ble what to do. The situation seems to get worse every week. A. You say your daughter is 13 and very willful and resentful. Undoubt edly this has been developing for a number o f years. Now that she’s thirteen, she’s old enough to assert herself and so you feel that you can not control her any longer. It may take a while to resolve this problem. You say that she gets along fairly well in school. There she is in a dif ferent environment. At school she is accepted and she can succeed. Evi dently she makes good grades. She likes her school world but she doesn’t like the world which she finds in her own home. I’m wondering if this girl might have a physical or medical problem. I would suggest that you take her fo r a medical examination soon . When a person is not happy, he is often not really well. In other words, a person who seems rebellious, hate ful or resentful, may actually be a person who is not feeling well. However, the fact that you say she gets along well in school and doesn’t at home would indicate there are
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