FAMILY MENTAL WELLNESS
Managing stress with mindful parenting
BY DR. LISA MAROTTA
The Mindful Parent Mindset You probably already have these skills, but with mindfulness you practice the awareness to use them when they are most needed: Attention: Mindful parents tune in to what is happening in the moment. This is single-task engagement, as opposed to multi- tasking or operating on autopilot. We have many distractions and always too many “to dos” in the day. When you are with your child, however, mindfulness reminds us to be present. If you are trying to do all the many other things, you might miss a wonderful moment or overreact to a small problem. Compassion: Mindful parents use empathy and observation to understand the child’s point of view. This skill of non- judgment also extends to a greater acceptance of your own limitations and imperfections as a parent. Try to keep in mind that child misbehavior is not typically a plot to sabotage our parenting efforts. Emotional Regulation: Mindful parents take time to evaluate their reactions and get calm before responding. They use mindfulness tools to get emotions under control and notice their internal thoughts and the external situation before choosing how and when to act. Pausing to “get your act together” makes you more effective in the long run. Becoming more connected with your own thoughts and feelings naturally makes you more connected with your child’s thoughts and feelings. Being attuned in this manner can make parenting less stressful and improve your relationship with your child. Your mindful mindset will not only help you keep calm under pressure, it has the added benefit of demonstrating stress resilience to your children.
We are all feeling the stress this fall of school decisions, social distancing and overall uncertainty in the world. Parental stress is real, and it has a trickle- down effect on children. We all know how children behave when they are stressed: increased misbehavior, irritability and resistance. To break the cycle of stress we would all do well to become more mindful in our relationships. At its core, mindfulness is about slowing down, stepping back and observing before responding. Through the challenges of this pandemic, we have had many opportunities to slow down. Mindful parenting capitalizes on this experience and expands it further. Mindfulness is defined as paying attention, in the moment, non- judgmentally. Applying mindfulness to parenting involves increased awareness of your thinking and emotions to keep your cool under pressure. While most parenting skills are about what you DO as a parent, mindfulness shifts the focus to how you want to BE as a parent. Mindfulness makes us more aware of the pressure of perfectionism and allows us to accept mistakes in ourselves as well as our children. Mindful parenting is associated with less parental stress and depression, improved parent-child communication and less hyperactive behavior in children. Set your parenting intention to respond differently to stress by practicing mindfulness daily, using a mindful mindset and tools to help. Dr. Lisa Marotta is a private practice psychologist working with women, children and families in Edmond. She facilitates parenting classes and is the author of the award-winning children’s book Suki and Sam . Stay connected with Dr. Marotta through her blog Psyched About Life: Tools for Everyday Living at drlisamarotta.com.
40 METROFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM / OCTOBER 2020
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