Five Mindful Parent Tools The opportunity to practice mindfulness is offered every day as a parent. Transitions are usually tricky in families, especially morning and bedtimes. Journal your observations about these trigger times to find patterns and think about which of these mindfulness tools might be most helpful: Breathe: Your breath is the quickest way to calm yourself when you are stressed. Focus on your breathing by taking a deep breath in through your nose. Exhale to release the breath slowly and steadily through your mouth. Repeat this simple but powerful step until you notice that you are calmer and ready to respond instead of reacting. The purpose is to deactivate the “fight or flight” response and allow you to use your whole brain in assessing the parenting dilemma. STOP: This is an acronym for a self-regulation hack. Once well practiced, this tool can become a habit that is almost automatic during times of high emotions. S: Stop what you are doing T: Take a few breaths O: Observe what is going on, both internally and externally P: Proceed with intention, choosing what would be best to do next Grounding : Oftentimes our thoughts can become so intense they increase our negative emotions, which makes the situation feel worse. When you notice distracting thoughts about the future (“My child will always behave this way”) or the past (“I have been too hard/easy on my child”), focus on your senses to regain your attention and emotions. Monitor what you can hear, see, taste and touch around you. Clear your mind to drop back into your body and re-orient yourself to what is happening around you.
Intention: Mindful parents reflect on recurrent trouble spots to stay connected with their parenting goals. Create time for stillness during your day to note changes that could benefit your family. Your intention sets the tone for how you accomplish change within your family. Gratitude: Parenting is also about recognizing the good stuff. Even on your “worst day ever” as a parent, there are wonderful moments that can lift your spirits, if you slow down to notice. Mindful parents are on the look- out for those things that are going well. Once you become skilled in these mindfulness tools you will find they are easy to teach your children. Mindfulness is contagious — in a good way. Editor’s note: This column is the fourth in a 12-month series on family mental wellness, written by local experts on topics pertinent to parents and children. Columnists include Dr. Marotta, Thai-An Truong, LPC, LADC, in private practice as a postpartum therapist and mom of two; Stacey Johnson, LPC, (@staceyjohnsonlife) in private practice at The Purple Couch and mom of eight; Dr. Erica Faulconer, pediatrician at Northwest Pediatrics and mom of three, and Jeanae Neal, registered behavior therapist and mom of one.
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