FAMILY MENTAL WELLNESS
Shared mealtimes and taking a break from devices and technology are also key. Children flourish when parents are simply present with them, showing interest and curiosity in what’s going on in their lives, and those positive experiences further protect them from ACEs. Parents also must acknowledge that not all parenting skills will come easily, especially if they didn’t have the benefit of being parented well, and it’s OK to ask for help. “We have to take care of ourselves as adults and caregivers, seeking out support and learning those parenting skills,” said Haney. “And there is no shame in seeking mental health services. In many areas of our lives we have to seek out new skills with the intent of providing the best we can for our kids.” For those parents who feel they’ve damaged their relationship with their child, Haney offers the encouragement that children are always seeking connection with their parents, no matter their age, and that it’s never too late to get help or choose a different path. Local families have several supports available to them through ODMHSAS. In partnership with OU Health Sciences, trauma- focused cognitive behavioral therapy supports children and adolescents impacted by trauma. Child-parent psychotherapy is available for children under 5 who have experienced trauma to move toward repair in their relationship with their parent.
ODMHSAS is also making an effort to get involved with families who need extra supports earlier, even prior to children being born or conceived, through Family Care Plans, which provide treatment plans and resources to parents-to-be with substance use disorders. “Harm happens in relationships but it’s also where healing occurs,” said Haney. “Relationships are messy and we may get things wrong. But we always have the opportunity for repair. Healthy relationships aren’t about the absence of conflict or struggle; they are about being able to come back together and repair.” Community efforts expand support As awareness about ACEs has increased in families and across communities, Oklahoma has steadily trended down in ACE scores, decreasing about six percentage points since 2017-2018, according to the National Survey of Children’s Health. The community at large, including schools, government and others, has a critical role to play in focusing on initiatives that support families. For example, ODMHSAS partners with the Potts Family Foundation to provide training for local organizations to address ACEs and build self-healing communities. Called NEAR Science, the training focuses on how neurobiology, behaviors and environment are related to ACEs, as well as how to build resilience.
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