Divorce attorneys urge mapping out a distribution of assets and debts in the happy pre-marriage stage rather than leaving it to the bitter divorce stage.
Debra is one of the many people in the North Bay and across the country who are saying yes to the dress—but not without a prenup. The percentage of American couples with prenups has grown from 3% in 2010 to 15% in 2022, and most are young, between the ages of 18 and 34, according to the Harris Poll—not baby boomers in their second or third marriages. And increasingly, women are demanding them, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML). Despite the increased interest in prenups, there’s still a stigma about them. They get a bad rap on reality TV shows like the various incarnations of The Real Housewives and are used as humor in sitcoms like Seinfeld , in which Kramer suggests that a unhappily engaged George demand that Susan, his fiancé, sign a prenup. Prenups are not seen as “romantic.” For many people, getting one seems to be planning for an inevitable divorce instead of, as Debra discovered, a way to talk openly and honestly about all things financial. For some, it’s something only the wealthy need or want. For others, it brings to mind an old wealthy man trying to protect his assets from a much younger, likely less financially secure, woman. Louisiana State University law professor Elizabeth R. Carter rejects that stereotype, believing it perpetuates the idea that women who agree to a prenup are not only uneducated and economically needy, but also want “the state to protect them from the overreaching of their husbands and their own stupidity.” That reinforces negative stereotypes about women, she says, while also eroding “their personal autonomy by
limiting their ability to make their own decisions about the meaning of marriage.” Plus, that stereotype ignores who and why Americans are tying the knot nowadays. While it’s true that many wealthy people opt for prenups— Beyoncé, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Kim Kardashian and other celebrities have talked about their prenups and suggest all women get one before putting a ring on it—and some may indeed involve an old wealthy man and a much younger woman, many “ordinary people are interested in the tidiness and the finality that they perceive they might have if they have a prenuptial agreement,” AAML president Cary Mogerman told the New Yorker in 2022. People are accumulating wealth earlier than in generations past, including women, who are a larger part of the college- educated labor force than men and, in certain cities, are earning as much or more than their male peers, according to the Pew Research Center. People are also getting married later — in 2022, U.S. Census Bureau data showed the median age was approximately 30.5 years old for men and 28.6 years old for women, allowing them more time to gather wealth— and often debt. Prenups address that, too, as well as future earnings and assets. Not surprisingly, the Bay Area, which has the largest number of high-earners employed in tech in the U.S, making on average of $157,000 a year, is also in on the prenup trend. “We are seeing an enormous uptick in the demand for prenups and the age of the typical prenup client is also coming
48 NorthBaybiz
February 2024
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