NEXT AVENUE - SPECIAL SECTION
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Coming Out to Grandma By Bea Lewis
Weeks before my firstborn grandchild, Lyn, went off to her freshman year of college, she called to say goodbye. “I’d like to visit with you before I leave,” she said. “I have something I want to talk to you about.”
Theoretically, I’ve always felt it’s a good thing that our society has become more accepting of diversity. On that day, I guess I talked the talk, but was not yet ready to walk the walk. It simply hit too close to home and I wasn’t sure that I could accept my granddaughter’s news. We talked about other areas of her life, including her anxieties about going away to college, and other things that were going on for her. As Lyn jabbered away, I began to understand that my granddaughter’s sexual orientation is only a tiny fraction of this fabulous young woman.
I was delighted that she wanted to spend time with me, but was curious about what she wanted to share.
As she walked up the driveway, I noted the serious look on her face. She didn’t have the usual upbeat smile she has whenever she sees me waiting at the front door.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“I’ll get right to the point,” Lyn whispered, finding it hard to look at me as she spoke.
When she headed for the door to leave, I felt overwhelmed with emotion.
“Grandma, I’m gay,” she said.
My firstborn grandchild had grown into a wonderful woman. She felt comfortable enough to confide in me, her much older (and slightly outdated) grandmother. It was a moment I will always cherish; I remembered it recently when I attended my granddaughter’s wedding to another woman.
“I’m gay,” she repeated, making sure I understood. “This is probably hard for you to take, but I don’t want to keep secrets from you. I’m a lesbian.” Truth be told, I felt bewildered as to what and how I should respond. Because I knew how difficult it was for her to tell me, I decided to speak from my heart, saying, “You are still the love of my life, and whatever makes you happy, makes me happy, too.”
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She broke into a big smile, and was obviously relieved. “I’m glad you understand that my loving a woman instead of a man is only a part of who I am,” Lyn said. “I knew you would accept me no matter what.”
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