MIND-BODY-SPIRIT
plenty to compassionately hear. Also, taking better care of ourselves and being more vulnerable will help us to be more present with our partner — and listen more deeply. 6. Practice taking the lead in the relationship . Too many times, we as men yield leadership to women when it comes to the re- lationship. It often comes across as, “Here, the relationship is your thing. You make it work better.” Women can’t help but resent this attitude. Let’s make our relationships just as important as our work. When we are dying, we won’t regret spending more time on our job. It’s our relationships that more deeply nourish our souls. Initiate re - lationship growth. Ninety percent of the couples who register for our retreats are signed up by the women. Invite your partner into a deeper conversation or to read aloud from an inspiring book. Initiate any - thing meaningful. 7. There is no substitute for inner child work. Remember that your partner has an inner child that needs parenting by you as much as you need parenting by them. It can bring such sweet joy to give this parental nurturing to your partner. Make it a practice to sometimes see past the grown-up, powerful adult to the innocent little child in your partner. Gently, and tactfully, invite your partner to be held in your fathering arms in a physically non-sexual way. It is so important to not have physical sexual energy mixed in with fathering energy. Likewise, allow yourself to feel the little boy within you who needs the love and comforting embrace of the parent within your part- ner. This is another way to give a profound gift to your partner, and deepen the relationship as well. 8. Reach out more to other men . Many men tend to isolate themselves from meaningful relationships with other men. I have ob - served many men are nearly starved for father/brother love. Because of our fear of this need, we have pushed away half the population of
the earth. Practice vulnerability with other men, and you will find it becomes even easier to be vulnerable with your partner. Deepening your friendship with a man leads to deepening your friendship with yourself. And this allows you to become more accessible to your part- ner. Joyce & Barry Vissell, a nurse/therapist and psychiatrist couple since 1964, are counselors near Santa Cruz, CA, who are passionate about conscious relationship and personal-spiritual growth. They are the authors of 10 books. Visit SharedHeart.org for their free weekly inspirational videos and monthly e-heartletter, their updated schedule, and inspiring past articles on many topics about relationships and living from the heart. GLUT FOOD CO-OP • Open to the public — No membership required • Open 7 days / week: Tues-Fri 10 am–8 pm • Sat, Sun, Mon 9 am–7 pm • Tues, Wed, Thur, Fri 9 am–8 pm • Natural foods at the best prices in town • Not for profit and cooperative • More than 40 varieties of cheeses • Nuts, dried fruits, spices & organic produce 301-779-1978 4005 34th Street, Mt. Rainer, Maryland
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PATHWAYS—Spring 24—65
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