Love, Courtship and Marriage
By William D. Orr, D.D.
Third in a Series of Articles on the Problems of Young People
T AKE plenty of time. With every thing else in the world rushing like mad you must not be in a hurry about love. You needn’t feel you must marry the first girl or boy you meet. Some girls feel they’re a dismal failure in life unless the wed ding cake is ordered before they clutch their high school diplomas! But the voice of experience—which is usually right—advises time, plenty of time. Don’t be offended if I warn you about puppy love. This is a sort of a dreamy blindness that afflicts the young. Sometimes it’s so real it’s painful. And it’s love after a sort, perhaps a forty-second cousin to the real article. Most of us go through a stage or two of it. And it’s not too dangerous if you don’t get serious. Usually the objects of puppy love af fection look pretty silly when viewed a few years later. Just don’t mistake this early forerunner for the genuine thing later on. It’s a dandy idea to take Dad and Mother into confidence about love and things. You’ll find them sympathetic and very practical. They won’t laugh at you, for they were young once, too, and they passed through the same ex periences. They’ll be grateful to you for asking their advice. And their ad vice will be “ on the beam,” too. But the best advice will come from
pious platitude. No statement is more practical. For this decision about your future mate is next in importance to your decision for Christ and surren der to Him. I say it reverently. God must be interested in this. If he does not guide you here, He is undepend able and untrue to His Word, which of course is utterly unthinkable. Nor do I mean that after we have duti fully laid the matter before Him in prayer, we must then depend upon our own sagacity and ingenuity. God will guide those who want to be guid ed as surely as He led the hosts of Bible worthies. Don’t, however, ask God to guide you in relation to explicit principles which are taught on the pages of Scripture. For instance, don’t ask whether you should allow yourself to become serious with a girl or fellow who’s not a Christian. The answer to this has already been given (2 Cor. 6:14-16) with unmistakable clarity in the Bible. Never—and I do mean never, should a Christian knowingly marry one who is not a Christian. The wise prohibition goes even fur ther. You must not allow yourself to fall in love with someone who does not give allegiance to Christ. This promotes confusion of the worst sort. To unite in love or marriage one who is a child of God (1 John 3 :2 ) with one who is a child of the devil (John
higher up. Isn’t it a most amazing thing to know that your heavenly (John 16:27) Father is not too busy managing the universe to be inter ested in you? He has a plan (1 John 2:17) for you. And that plan includes (1 Peter 5 :7 ) your future husband or wife on the very first page. What a tragedy to ignore God’s plan. You might marry the wrong person. And this wouldn’t be God’s fault. How shall we know who’s who? Well, it’s not too difficult. Pray (Phil. 4 :6, 7). Pray a lot. And have patience too (James 1 :4). God’s not in a hurry and you mustn’t be either. Maintain an attitude (Rom. 12:1, 2) of yieldedness, and wait God’s time and person. He’ll work it out to your eternal hap piness. Selecting That “ Special Friend” The time will come when you’ll be thinking seriously of love in relation ship to Christian marriage. Contrary to the oft-repeated axiom, love need not be blind. Here is one time you’ll want to keep your eyes wide open. For here is a decision which can either make or break you, spiritually speaking. First, you’ll want to pray (1 Thess. 5:17) much and commit (Psalm 37:5) all. And this is emphatically not a
A P R I L , 1951
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