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JANUARY 2025
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Set Boundaries, Foster Respect, and Watch Your Child Thrive — Together
As one year closes, a new chapter opens for many recently divorced parents. It’s an opportunity for self- improvement and growth for your individual goals and journey as a parent. Perhaps you look back and recognize areas that could use more TLC while celebrating your strong points. The truth is that parenting is hard , and co-parenting presents its own set of unique challenges. No matter the size of your family, disagreements will happen. However, fostering a healthy co- parenting relationship is achievable. If both parents prioritize the child’s well-being, commit to mutual respect, and set clear boundaries, your child can flourish in their unique family structure. The positive impact of a healthy co-parenting situation on your child makes the effort worthwhile. In our line of work, we recognize cultivating clear and concise boundaries is one of the most significant challenges co-parents face. We understand how difficult and emotionally draining this can be. Whether divorced or separated, ensuring parents and children are happy is essential. This is our four- step guide to setting and maintaining boundaries to support a healthy co-parenting environment. AVOID BADMOUTHING Speaking poorly about the other parent to your child or around
them is never acceptable — this is called parental alienating behavior. Research shows that exposure to negative talk about a child’s parents is profoundly damaging to a child’s mental health later in life. If your co-parent displays this behavior in front of your child, you should immediately address it. Going forward, the best way to maintain this boundary is to adopt this adage, If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all . OUTLINE PERSONAL LIFE/DATING BOUNDARIES One of the tougher aspects of co- parenting is respecting each other’s privacy, especially concerning new relationships. However, boundaries need to be set and mutually agreed upon. Some co-parents may choose not to introduce their children to new partners until they know the new relationship is serious. Ultimately, you don’t want to bring inconsistencies in your child’s life and confuse them. If you and your co-parent have different philosophies about it, you must take time to work it out. ESTABLISH COMMUNICATION BOUNDARIES With today’s technology, we communicate in many ways, which means phone calls, text messages, and social media can blur the boundaries if not established. Phone calls and text messages should pertain specifically to your
child, such as health updates, school schedules, extracurricular activities, or friends/social issues. Additionally, you should discuss social media boundaries regarding your child to maintain privacy and security. Many parents agree not to post pictures of their children on social media without consulting the other co-parent first. MAINTAIN CONSISTENCY ACROSS HOUSEHOLDS Children thrive on consistency (whether they like it or not). Knowing rules and routines remain the same in both parents’ homes can provide them with a sense of security and comfort. For example, expecting and enforcing similar bedtimes, chores, homework, screen time, and social media access helps kids easily adjust. Co-parenting is no easy feat, but creating healthy boundaries allows co-parents to foster a harmonious and supportive environment where everyone feels valued and secure. Remember, this unique family dynamic didn’t happen overnight, so it’s going to be an ongoing process that requires effort from everyone involved. At Pacific Northwest Law, we can support you every step of the way as you
navigate the challenges co-parenting can present.
–Pacific Northwest Family Law
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FESTIVE KITCHEN ADVENTURES — KID EDITION Whisking Up Family Fun
KEEP FAMILY FLAVORS FLOWING. Want to give your elderly mom or dad a holiday surprise they’ll never forget? Present them with a meal based on one of their famous recipes that their grandkid(s) helped prepare! Holiday gatherings are great for sharing the details and delicacies that shaped your family’s history — and a wonderful opportunity to pass down those special traditions to the next generation. With the holidays upon us, now is a perfect time to introduce little ones to the joys of baking and cooking by turning your kitchen into a safe space for learning and bonding.
Could your child be a future celebrity chef? Could your baby be a world-class baker in waiting? Help transform your toddlers or school-age kids into tiny tastemakers by following these three simple tips. USE YOUR SPACE AS A SKILL ZONE. It takes more than just a love of food to make delicious meals and treats, as cooking and baking put all five senses to the test. Helping in the kitchen enables small children to heighten their awareness of smells, tastes, sounds, and textures while learning new words. Having them measure ingredients and pour them into bowls is an easy way to refine their motor skills, and your guidance behind the counter will
encourage them to follow directions. If your kitchen companion is a baby, you can still involve them by describing the sights, sounds, and smells surrounding them and letting them touch some of the food — all great tools to assist in developing their connection to the world. KID-PROOF YOUR MEAL PREP. Before taking your child on a culinary journey, check that their countertop travels won’t endanger them. It’s obviously a big no-no to rest a sharp knife on a cutting board that small hands can reach, but little things like toothpicks can also pose a risk. If your small assistant is old enough to cut up ingredients, a plastic utensil will be less painful than steel if the blade misses its mark.
Fostering Realistic Family Resolutions That Stick
It’s that time of year again when we make ambitious New Year’s resolutions and fight tooth and nail to keep them! But despite our best efforts, we often fall short of following through. The big question is why we struggle to stay on track. In most cases, two significant reasons emerge: We set unrealistic goals for ourselves or lack the support system to help hold us accountable for reaching our goals. This year, when making resolutions, consider making them together as a family instead of going it alone. You might be surprised at how aligning individual and family goals can lead to deeper connections and greater accomplishments. Look at a few New Year’s resolutions that will benefit the entire family! CREATE ‘UNPLUG’ TIME. Adults and children alike need time to decompress after a long, stressful day. Believe it or not, there are other
ways to wind down besides staring at our phones. One is to carve out time during the week when everyone is home from work and school, put away their phones, and discuss the day with each other. Another is to put phones away an hour before bedtime. VOLUNTEER TOGETHER. Sit with your family to discuss causes you all would like to support. Whether volunteering at animal shelters or participating in a Habitat for Humanity build project, committing to shared values and a purpose builds community and enhances empathy and compassion toward others — and you’re doing it as a family. FOSTER HEALTHY HABITS AS A FAMILY. While bringing everyone to the gym may not be a realistic goal for your family, creating healthy habits is. Simple activities like walking in your neighborhood after dinner, cooking healthy meals together, shooting
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TAKE A BREAK
January is typically when many parents reflect on and evaluate the year past to start planning for the new one. For divorced or separated parents, this is also a good time to refine the details outlined in their parenting plan by considering what worked and what didn’t. A parenting agreement is a living document, and as your children grow older, you’ll need to update your plan to reflect their life stages and milestones better. Of course, every family situation is unique, so no single one- size-fits-all plan works for every household. But, just as with custody, the parenting plan should be based on the child’s best interests to maximize benefits for everyone involved. Here are three important benefits of an appropriate, updated custody agreement in the new year. PARENTS MINIMIZE ARGUMENTS. You and your ex-spouse are your child’s parents, but you are also individuals who may disagree on certain things. This is when a detailed parenting plan is beneficial. The document clearly defines with whom your child will spend holidays and birthdays, how times and days will be shared between households, and communication methods so no one blurs or crosses boundaries. CHILDREN GAIN STRUCTURE AND STABILITY. Regardless of age and whether their parents are divorced or not, children need a consistent and predictable structure. Both parents across both households should follow the same bedtimes, curfews, food restrictions, and other details regarding their child’s welfare. This eliminates the competition over who’s the “fun” parent and who isn’t. You must set aside your distaste for one another and stand as a united co- parenting front for your child’s sake. PARENTS HAVE GUIDANCE ON FLEXIBILITY. Unexpected events can sometimes derail previously set plans for anyone. When that happens, a thorough parenting plan allows flexibility for those circumstances. To avoid contention, be very specific in your plan about what constitutes an unexpected event, and be flexible for your child’s sake. Revisiting your parenting plan to make effective changes for your child and co-parent has many more benefits. Pacific Northwest Family Law is here to help if you need to update a child custody agreement. Please call us toll-free at (877) 738-0777 . YOUR CHILD’S NEEDS EVOLVE — YOUR PARENTING PLAN SHOULD, TOO Start the Year Right With a Unified Family Structure
SOLUTION:
hoops, or swimming together are all everyday activities you can do as a family to promote health and wellness benefits.
In your efforts to set and achieve your resolutions this year, why not make it a family affair? No matter the goals, working toward shared goals fosters a sense of accomplishment while strengthening your family bond. And with that, everybody wins.
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1359 Columbia Park Trail Richland, WA 99352 564.212.2733 pnwfamilylaw.com
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1 | Navigating the Complexities of Co-Parenting
2 | Mix, Measure, and Make Memories
A Fresh Approach to New Year’s Resolutions as a Family
3 | A Well-Crafted Parenting Plan Benefits Everyone
4 | Encouraging Teens to Help Around the House
Teens and Chores HOW TO TURN RELUCTANCE INTO RESPONSIBILITY
No one loved doing household chores growing up, but chores are great for building character and work ethic. If we shirk our responsibilities, we inevitably turn into vegetables — couch potatoes. No doubt, convincing your teenagers of the value of hard work and the importance of doing their chores can be trying at times. Sure, many grumble about “kids these days” and how parenting used to be, but we should remember that child-rearing has come a long way since the old days. For example, when Aztec children refused to do their chores, their parents would hold them over smoking chilies, resulting in eye-watering, skin-irritating torment — basically the Mesoamerican equivalent of pepper spraying kids in the
face. The further we can get from that standard of parenting, the better. So, here are two tips to help convince your teens to chip in around the house — no peppers needed. FRAME IT DIFFERENTLY. Sometimes, all you need is a change in perspective. Rather than simply stating that things need to get done — “Because I said so!” — it can help to pitch chores as ways your teens can help around the house. Talk about everything that needs to be done to contribute to a healthy, happy home. There’s grocery shopping, feeding the dog, doing the laundry, maintaining the ever-growing collection of succulents, you name it. This will give them more perspective into how much their parents currently take on. Then,
break down which responsibilities they’ll be assigned to complete and how often you expect them to do each task. GOOD WORK DESERVES A REWARD. Chore money has always been a great incentive to encourage teens to do their part around the home. These days, there are even apps, like BusyKid, that assign a monetary value to different chores around the house. This doesn’t mean you have to break the bank, but teaching your kids that hard work pays off can motivate them to accomplish more around the home.
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