19TH-HOLE DEBATE
them, but this was the ugliest hat I’ve ever seen. It had six clubs jammed onto the front, spilling over onto the brim. Worse, it was two-toned, with a beige brim that felt like, well, felt. It goes without saying that I never wore it (sorry, Mom and Dad). My buying tip for golf hats? Keep it subtle and under- stated. – Alex Myers PERSONALISED GOLF BALLS Think of me as Dr Rick from the Pro- gressive commercials: I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m just trying to help you. Do we really need novelty golf balls that say, “I love golfing!”? No, we don’t. Take a page from my wife who killed it last year. She knew I needed a new travel bag, so she reached out to a colleague of mine to secure an appropriate one. If you’re not a golfer, get some assistance when buying golf gifts. It will turn “Oh, that’s nice” into “You’re the absolute best!” – E Michael Johnson TOO-SMALL TOWELS Any towel with a little brass ring clip is basically useless. These glorified nap- kins collect at the bottoms of car boots and lockers because they’re half the size a golf towel should be. The big, shining moment for a golf towel is when it’s taken to the green to clean a ball before an important putt. But like a clumsy and cowardly soldier, these self-defeat- ing bi-folds hang back tethered, even tripping the bag’s legs. – Max Adler TRICK GOLF BALLS For years, the gag was simply explod- ing balls that were reduced to powder at impact. But the technology has, ahem, advanced to the point where we now have unputtable balls, jet stream- ing balls and phantom balls that turn into mist instead of dust. Who buys this stuff beyond those heading to a clown convention? – TL SCORE COUNTERS I’ll say the tough part out loud: If you’re taking so many shots that you’re strug- gling to keep track, that’s totally OK, but give yourself some grace and ease up on the counting. Gift-givers: Don’t encour- age such strict arithmetic for those just starting. – DP
BALL RETRIEVERS I once played behind an already sloth- like group when I arrived on a hole to see TWO guys with their long-arm retrievers fishing for balls – less than At risk of seeming ungrateful, we kindly request that you leave these off your shopping list BY THE EDITORS The Worst Holiday Gifts for Golfers
100 metres from the tee box. Retriev- ers are pace-of-play disasters because how many times have you seen some- one find a ball and then keep casting? Please, don’t enable this kind of behav- iour. – Tod Leonard POTTY PUTTER Who doesn’t want to practice one and two footers while going one and two? Of course, this little green that wraps around your toilet and accompanying mini putter are designed for a quick laugh rather than actual use, but save everyone the clutter – Drew Powell HATS THAT TRY TOO HARD Many years ago, my parents bought me a hat from St Andrews. Great! Bless
PHOTOGRAPH BY STEPHEN DENTON
28 GOLF DIGEST SOUTH AFRICA
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2025
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