“GENERATIONAL HAND- ME-DOWNS ARE JUST THAT: HAND-ME-DOWNS. THEY’RE NOT A LIFE SENTENCE, AND THEY DON’T DEFINE US.”
Every generation is shaped by the world it grows up in, and those norms don’t just disappear when the times change. The workaholism of the Baby Boomers? That’s a product of a post-war economy that valued productivity above all else. The emotional stoicism of older generations? That’s rooted in a time when vulnerability was seen as a liability, not a strength. These norms don’t just shape individuals—they shape families, and they’re hard to shake. But here’s the thing: understanding where these quirks come from doesn’t mean we’re off the hook. It just means we have the tools to do better. Because while we can’t change the past, we can change how we move forward. “One approach I encourage,” says Peña, “is replacing critical self-talk with curiosity: ‘What do I actually need right now—physically, emotionally?’ For parents, showing kids that all foods have a place and emphasizing health over appearance can set the foundation for resilience. I often tell families, ‘Your relationship with yourself is the blueprint for the next generation.’” Breaking the cycle of generational hand-me- downs isn’t easy. It’s messy, uncomfortable, and sometimes downright frustrating. But it’s also one of the most powerful things you can do—for yourself, for your family, and for the generations that come after you. At the end of the day, generational hand-me- downs are just that: hand-me-downs. They’re not a life sentence, and they don’t define us. We get to decide what to do with them. So, whether you’re tossing out the Tupperware, unlearning the almond mentality, or simply laughing at the absurdity of it all, remember this: you’re not just breaking the cycle. You’re rewriting the script. ●
Then there’s intergenerational trauma, a fancy term for the idea that trauma doesn’t just affect the person who experiences it—it ripples through generations. A parent who grew up during a time of scarcity might hoard food or save every penny, even if their kids have never known hunger. A parent who was taught to equate thinness with worth might pass on those same beliefs, even if they don’t mean to. Trauma has a way of embedding itself in our DNA, showing up in ways we don’t always recognize.
And let’s not forget cultural norms.
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