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I focusing on small, achievable goals, or just paying attention to what actually helps instead of what just feels satisfying in the moment. The problem is, cynicism tricks you into thinking you’re protecting yourself, when really, you’re just making sure nothing grows. It’s like refusing to eat cake because some weird, health- obsessed auntie once told you dessert is a moral failing—you’re not sticking it to the system; you’re just depriving yourself of cake. Cynicism isn’t wisdom—it’s emotional arthritis. It stiffens your capacity to feel anything but disdain. I don’t blame you for mistrusting optimism. But here’s what the radishes taught me: Growth isn’t about believing in sunshine—it’s about tolerating the mud. A recent study in Psychological Science found that people who practiced pragmatic optimism — planting seeds while keeping a trowel nearby for the inevitable rocks—had 23% lower stress levels than those waiting for the sky to fall. Cynicism, it turns out, is just another kind of fertilizer: potent but corrosive, burning holes in roots before they can take hold. I spent a lot of time—too much time—muttering What’s the point? to my radishes. Eventually, Susan poked me in the ribs and snapped, “Just poke holes in the dirt. We’ll lie to each other about the results later.” So I did. Some radishes came up misshapen, others downright ugly. But by harvest, I’d at least stopped flinching at the word “future.”
“If you’re someone who’s naturally skeptical of positivity, building resilience and fostering personal growth doesn’t mean you have to let go of your skepticism or sense of humor,” says Julie Hingsbergen, LMFT, psychotherapist and founder of Reframe CBT, a cognitive behavioral therapy practice in California. “In fact,” she adds, “these can be powerful tools for creating balance in your thinking. Skepticism, when paired with realistic thinking, can help you step back and question overly negative or unhelpful thoughts. Positivity doesn’t have to feel fake or forced—it can be approached as a practical way to brainstorm solutions or see challenges from a different angle.” That’s the shift—thinking of optimism as a tool rather than a personality trait. It’s not about forcing a smile through gritted teeth; it’s about noticing when cynicism becomes a reflex rather than a reasoned response. As Hingsbergen explains, spotting unhelpful patterns is the first step: Are you assuming the worst without actual evidence? Are you dismissing something as impossible instead of considering a realistic middle ground? Balanced thinking isn’t about pretending everything is fine—it’s about seeing situations as they are, rather than as catastrophes-in-waiting. And if positivity feels unnatural, start where you already have an advantage. “Humor is a great way to release tension and gain perspective without ignoring reality,” Hingsbergen notes. Instead of weaponizing sarcasm against yourself, use it to break rigid thinking. Let your skepticism work for you instead of against you. Maybe it’s reframing setbacks as plot twists rather than personal failures. Maybe it’s building a mental toolkit—reality-checking your thoughts,
You don’t have to believe in miracles. I sure don’t! Just in the faint, stubborn magic of a plant
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