Atlanta Divorce Law Group - November 2021

November 2021

Hosting Thanksgiving? Let Me Help! 3 Tips for a Successful Turkey Day

When I was a little girl, my parents loved opening their home to our friends and family on holidays. With all of those guests coming and going, I learned how to be a hostess from an early age. Before long, I was planning events with confidence! I have wonderful memories of the holidays in our house and what a warm, inviting place it was. Today, I try my best to recreate that feeling in my own home — especially on Thanksgiving. I might be the only person you know who not only doesn’t mind hosting on Turkey Day but actually looks forward to it. If you’re hosting as well and you’re a little bit nervous, here are a few tips that have helped my dinners succeed in the past. 1. Remove the bells and whistles. Ask yourself, “What is the most important thing about Thanksgiving?” and put that front and center so you’re not overwhelmed. If it’s vital for you that all of the food is made from scratch with family recipes, for example, then focus on cooking instead of decorating a beautiful table! In my house, the gathering trumps the food, so I could order a premade turkey and be happy as long as the whole family was there. 2. Ask guests to pitch in. There’s nothing sacrilegious about asking for help! One reason I never get stressed about Thanksgiving is that we do it potluck style. I provide the turkey

and a few sides, and our guests bring their dishes of choice. It takes the pressure off, and everyone is guaranteed to have something they like to eat. 3. Make everyone comfortable with simple touches. You don’t have to learn how to sculpt your napkins into turkeys or use calligraphy on your place cards to make Thanksgiving feel special. In my experience, warm candlelight through the house, some nice soft music, and the smell of good food is enough to make guests comfortable. Bonus Tip: Let go of perfection! Things are never 100% perfect when I host Thanksgiving, and that’s okay. I just try to go into the event with a flexible vision and a good attitude. No one wants to be around a host who is tense and overwhelmed, and it’s not fun being that person, either. Of course, the holiday can get a little more complicated if you’re divorced and have to share custody of your kids. In that situation, the best thing you can do is stick to your parenting plan. If you feel guilty about not being able to spend the holiday with your child, try not to project that onto them. Odds are they already feel bad about leaving you behind. It’s also important not to be disappointed or resentful if you plan something special for your child and they don’t react the “right” way. Divorce can kick up a lot of complicated emotions for kids, so try to be patient and aware of that and help make them feel comfortable talking to you.

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“If you feel guilty about not being able to spend the holiday with your child, try not to project that onto them. Odds are they already feel bad about leaving you behind.”

Hopefully, these tips make “surviving” Thanksgiving a bit easier.

Happy Holidays!

–Sara Khaki 678-203-9893

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Join Our Support Group and ‘Divorcing a Narcissist’ Webinar Online! Get Virtual Divorce Help From Anywhere

considering separation but aren’t sure what the next steps should be (or even if it’s right for the two of you), then you won’t want to miss our upcoming webinar. You can join right from the comfort of your home or office, and our team’s experts will discuss what to expect when divorcing a narcissist and how to prepare for the challenges ahead. HAPPILY EVER AFTER DIVORCE SUPPORT GROUP MEETING (VIRTUAL SUPPORT GROUP) When: Thursday, Nov. 18, at 6:30 p.m. Register: AtlantaDivorceLawGroup.com/Happily- Ever-After-Divorce-Support-Group The holiday season is here, and as Sara mentioned on Page 1, that always makes divorce and separation trickier. If you’re struggling to stay

strong right now, you might benefit from attending our Happily Ever After Divorce Support Group. This virtual meetup was designed for people just like you. You can lean on your peers in the group for empathy, advice, and a fresh perspective. Kathleen Shack, the Founder and CEO of Family Solutions Counseling, LLC, will also be there to provide guidance! She specializes in marriage and family counseling, couples therapy, divorce coaching, and more and will help you let go of the “Why?” questions that could ruin your holiday. To sign up this month, visit the website above! Here at ADLG, we’re not letting COVID-19 slow us down. Sign up for these virtual events to get the information and support you need without leaving home.

Our complimentary divorce support groups and seminars are available online! Register for these upcoming events to gain knowledge, resources, and emotional support that will help you feel empowered while you go through major life changes. DIVORCING A NARCISSIST (COMPLIMENTARYWEBINAR) When: Tuesday, Nov. 9, at 6:30 p.m. Register: AtlantaDivorceLawGroup.com/ Webinars/Divorcing-a-Narcissist Divorce is difficult in the best of circumstances, but it can be even harder if you’re married to a narcissist — someone who relentlessly criticizes, doesn’t prioritize you, and makes you doubt yourself. If you have a narcissistic partner and are

HAVE A LOW-STRESS HOLIDAY 3 TIPS FOR A MERRIER TIME

RECHARGE FIRST Ensure you’re rested and recharged before the holidays by taking time to relax, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that make you feel good. When you’re rushing to get everything done, it can be tempting to skip self-care routines, but that will cost you in the long run. Your daily exercise and other health activities keep you balanced and ready to face challenges head-on.

GET STARTED EARLY Holidays always arrive faster than we expect, so begin preparing early. If shopping for presents is a pain point, don’t wait until the last minute. Decorate earlier than you need to — or better yet, get the kids to do it for you. There’s only so much cooking you can do ahead of time, but ensuring you have all of the equipment and nonperishable ingredients you need a few weeks in advance will reduce both your workload and anxiety. DON’T EXPECT PERFECTION The sooner you let go of the idea of a “perfect” holiday, the sooner you’ll be able to have a happy one. Face it: Something will go wrong. Whether it’s an overcooked dish, a child throwing a temper tantrum, or your uncle talking politics at the dinner table, nothing will ever go just how you planned. So, embrace the imperfections. Whether you’re celebrating this year with a group of two or 20, holidays can be a stressful time — but they don’t have to be. With these tips, your festivities may not be picture-perfect, but they will be a lot of fun.

The holidays are right around the corner, and while many people can’t wait to eat turkey and swap presents, others only see stress on the horizon. Especially for those hosting parties, between decorations, big dinners, excited kids, and visiting family, it can all feel overwhelming. If celebrations are happening at your house this year, here are three tips to lessen the strain and keep up the holiday cheer.

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WHY YOU SHOULD VISIT NEW ENGLAND During Your Thanksgiving Weekend

Last year, travel restrictions kept many families from gathering together in their homes for Thanksgiving dinner. This year, it appears that people will be able to travel freely to most locations. While a “destination Thanksgiving” might not be something you’ve ever considered, for some families, it can mean the perfect blend of quality fun and family time in an exciting new city. So, why not take advantage and bring your family to visit New England, the part of the country where Thanksgiving began? If you need more reasons than just the origin of a famous holiday, consider the scenery. If you’ve never visited New England in the fall, it’s something that every person should do at least once in their lives. The variety of colors on display in the trees throughout the quaint downtowns and nearby forests is completely unique to that part of the country. There’s a reason that “visiting Boston in the fall” has become not only a popular vacation but also part of the American lexicon as well. As for what you could do when you’re in New England for your Thanksgiving weekend, there are a few popular destinations you just have to see for yourself. First and foremost among these are the Plimoth Patuxet Museums. When you visit, you’ll be transported back in time to one of the earliest settlements in the United States, where the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag people shared the first Thanksgiving dinner.

Other fun destinations in that immediate area also include wandering the quaint historic downtowns of Ipswich, Sturbridge, or several other colonial era towns. You can also find tons of fun shopping destinations

in Beverly, Massachusetts. If you want your experience to be a little more rural, you can travel out to Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire, or Woodstock, Vermont, to experience a true traditional Thanksgiving celebration at Billings Farm and Museum. Even though your family might not be used to traveling for Thanksgiving, how many opportunities will you have to visit Thanksgiving’s birthplace during the season? It’s the kind of vacation you don’t want to miss!

CONCIERGE PARTNER’S CORNER

What Our Clients Are Saying!

Kathy French with

According to a report published by The Business Journals, only 20% of couples share equal responsibility for financial decisions. That means after a divorce, 80% of the time one partner is left high and dry without the financial knowledge they need to build an independent life. And 7 times out of 10, women are the ones floundering. What a disaster! If you’re recently divorced and trying to find your financial footing, it can be incredibly beneficial to get professional help. Kathy French , vice president and branch manager of the Roswell branch of Ameris Bank , is one of our team’s most trusted experts. “I help clients with their financial needs from personal and business accounts to establishing credit with a credit card, line of credit, or car loan, or setting up a home equity line of credit,” Kathy explains. In other words, Kathy is your one-stop shop for all things money-related! She and her team can help you open your own credit cards, buy a car, or leverage the value of your home to get the funds for other divorce expenses. Making financial decisions alone is intimidating, but Kathy makes the process feel easy. If you live in the Metro Atlanta or North Fulton areas and need help, reach out to her today by calling 404-553-2457 or emailing Kathy.French@AmerisBank.com .

“It was the greatest experience working with Jeanette and Becky. These ladies were amazing at helping me through this difficult process. Becky and Jeanette were professional, super responsive, and easy to get in contact with. They were definitely with me all the way to the end. I appreciate their patience and the fact that they kept me informed along the way. I am very thankful to these ladies for walking me through the process, and I will forever remember the experience of working with such a wonderful crew!” –Keneisha C.

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The First Thanksgiving What Was on the Menu?

Every Thanksgiving, we gather with our families and friends and pig out. Turkey, cranberry sauce, and stuffing, oh my! But did the Pilgrims actually eat all the same foods we do today? When we sit down at the Thanksgiving table, we are blessed with mashed potatoes, candied yams, green bean casserole, turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie. However, if we wanted to be historically accurate, we would need to change up that dinner spread a bit. Historians know of a few foods on the table that Pilgrims and Wampanoags shared at Plymouth Colony in 1621. Wildfowl, corn (in grain form for porridge), and venison were sure to be served at the first Thanksgiving. Wild turkey was also a common and abundant food source but wasn’t likely the main course as it is today. A few days before the first Thanksgiving, the colony’s governor put four men in charge of hunting for birds for the feast, and they very likely returned with some turkey.

However, as far as mashed potatoes are concerned, in the early 1600s, most Europeans and the Wampanoag had no idea what a potato was. They weren’t cultivated in North America until the 1700s. Likewise, cranberries were still very new to the Pilgrims, and they didn’t yet use them for food — instead, they used them to make dyes for fabrics! For dessert, pumpkin pie was not yet a thing either. Although the Pilgrims liked pumpkins, they didn’t have the butter and wheat flour needed to make pie crust. Instead, they hollowed out the pumpkins (just like Halloween!) and filled them with milk and honey to make a custard and then roasted them. Although our Thanksgiving meals have changed over the years, it still is a fantastic time to get together and celebrate. In the spirit of evolving traditions, don’t be afraid to innovate to add your own personal traditional twist to the holiday as well!

3 THINGS TO KNOW BEFORE YOU COMMIT Is a Domestic Adoption Agency Right for You?

Happy National Adoption Awareness Month! November was given that designation in 1995 to raise awareness about adoption, especially for kids in the foster care system. But the idea actually dates all the way back to 1976. That year, Massachusetts Governor Mike Dukakis got the ball rolling by declaring our country’s first National Adoption Week. In 2021, adoption remains one of the most life-changing decisions a person can make. If you’re considering adopting a child, congratulations! There’s an exciting and difficult road ahead. Perhaps the most important choice you’ll make early in this process is deciding how to adopt. Should you choose private

domestic adoption, domestic agency adoption, or international adoption? Should you foster to adopt or work with an adoption consultant? There’s no “right” answer, but adopting through a domestic agency is one of the most popular options. Consider these three things when deciding if it’s right for you. 1. Agency adoptions are very expensive. Adoption agencies have higher fees than private domestic adoption ($5,000–$10,000) or fostering to adopt (as little as $2,000). Usually, they range from $18,000 to $35,000 or more. Some agencies have a sliding scale for their fees based on your income, or offer more affordable adoptions for African American children. 2. You may be asked to cover costs for the birth mother. Some agencies ask adoptive parents to pay for expenses for the birth mother like transportation, clothing, medical expenses, and even rent. 3. Adopting with an agency usually takes a year or more. Your typical wait time with an agency will be between 12–18 months. This is faster than an international adoption, but more than twice as time consuming as working with an adoption consultant, who may find a match in just 3–6 months. If a domestic agency doesn’t sound like a good fit for you, explore the other options listed above! You can learn more about all of them on our website, AtlantaDivorceLawGroup.com or by scheduling a consultation with our team. We’ll help you understand the process and explain the laws that apply to your specific situation so you can make the best decision for your family.

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