50 · T H E U N D E R DOG A DVA N TAG E
HOW HOLLYWOOD TAUGHT ME I HAD NOTHING TO LOSE The whole time I was shoveling that shit inmy rental house, I was thinking to myself, “I guess this is where I deserved to be. This is just a sign fromGod, obviously.”
That’s the stuff that you think about in moments like that, don’t you?
But as I thought that, it started to get better. My self-talk changed, “You know what, I’m successful. I own several apartment houses. Yeah, I’m cleaning shit out of one of them, but I still own them. I’m not poor, I’m not broke.” Several months later, I saw that they launched the site on their own. They took my idea, down to every detail, and did it themselves. Pamela was on Jay Leno, she was talking about it, and she was using the exact language I’d written in my proposal about what she’d say on his show. I got sick. Literally sick tomy stomach. She was considered by many to be one of the hottest women on earth, and I couldn’t even look at Pamela as she said my words. It hurt me on a deep level, and it brought back my insecurities.
I thought to myself, “I reached my plateau. I tried to go to California with the big boys. I stepped off the path, got bit
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