Check out our April newsletter!
A collection of thoughts and stories to educate, entertain, and inspire. April 2023 P ACKARD P RESS The WHAT HAPPENED TO MY STAPLER?!
My Best (and Worst) Pranks Ever A few years ago, I walked into my office and found my desk in absolute chaos. My stapler was submerged in a giant block of Jell-O. So were my tape dispenser, pens, and pencils! Everything that wasn’t covered in Jell-O was coated in plastic wrap wound as tightly as a Halloween mummy.
I thought I’d stepped onto the set of “The Office.” Looking about, I half-expected to see Jim and Dwight peeking around the corner.
My team was just as gleeful as the characters would be.
“April fool!” they told me. I’d completely forgotten!
Fortunately, the prank was relatively mild. I had to toss my tape, pens, and pencils because of the Jell-O damage, but my team did me a favor and popped my stapler into a Ziplock baggie before dunking it. It still works today. As you can see, our office definitely has a few practical jokers, and the fun-loving spirit really comes out on April Fools’ Day. Typically, I join in on the mischief. Once, I pranked one of my co-workers by taking a screenshot of his computer desktop and then setting that image as his desktop background. Then I moved all his icons and folders. The poor guy was so confused! He kept clicking on the icons, but nothing would open up! I finally fessed up to it once the IT department got involved. “When Elizabeth arrived, the prank unfolded just like a slapstick movie.” I’ve been a prankster ever since childhood. Here’s a story about a glorious prank I pulled on my sister, Elizabeth. I was a freshman in high school at the time and Elizabeth was a senior, so I had to rely on her for rides home from school. One afternoon, I was bored out of my mind, waiting for her to finish some after-school practice that was going way longer than usual. Then a lightbulb went off in my brain. Her car was unlocked, and I had time for the perfect prank! I spent the next few minutes wreaking havoc. I set Elizabeth’s blinkers, windshield wipers, and radio to all turn on once she turned her car key. I scooted her seat all the way back and buckled her seat belt so she’d have to undo it before sitting down. Then, I scrounged the car for coins, ribbons, and paper scraps in the glove compartment. With the stealth of a superspy, I slid the coins and paper above Elizabeth’s visor and situated it to hold them all in place. I tucked in
the ribbon, and to make sure she pulled down the visor, I dangled it at the perfect height to tickle her forehead. I arranged the paper scraps in front of the AC vent, and the trap was set! When Elizabeth got to the car, everything unfolded just like a slapstick movie. First, she grumbled at me about her seat and seat belt. Then, once she was situated, she frowned up at the ribbon tickling her forehead. As soon as she pulled down the visor, coins showered down into her lap! I was still giggling when she turned the key in the ignition. The windshield wipers whipped furiously and the radio blasted through the speakers. Her shriek of frustration almost drowned out the Tejano music. The car was hot, and she was sweaty after practice. I smiled as she reached for the AC knob, knowing it would be the perfect finale! The AC blew paper scraps into Elizabeth’s face like confetti. I can’t describe the satisfaction I felt watching everything play out perfectly. It was glorious! I felt like the Rube Goldberg of pranksters. I still call her every once in a while just to laugh at that perfect prank. If you enjoy April Fools’ Day as much as I do, turn to Page 2 to play my game and win a prize! – Michael Packard
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NEVER DOUBT A CANINE’S SENSES One Sniff Can Save a Life Dogs are known for their keen sense of smell — on TV, you will often see dogs that can find missing people or even search for drugs and bombs. When dogs use their extraordinary senses for a particular job, they’re often trained for that one purpose, but even without training, dogs do seem to know something is wrong.
Roger, the Jack Russell terrier-poodle mix, is a great example.
Our story takes place in Ringwood, England, in December 2022. Winter was in full swing, with temperatures below freezing. No one wanted to find themselves outside in the cold for too long because it could be dangerous. Unfortunately, that’s what happened to 94-year-old Morris Cohen, and he almost died. Cohen just got home and parked his car in the garage when he found himself in a spot of trouble. As he tried to exit his vehicle, his walking stick suddenly snapped in half. Unable to keep his balance, Cohen fell and became wedged under his car’s brake and clutch pedals. The man called for help several times, but unfortunately, no one could hear his pleas, and he remained stuck overnight. The next day, Roger’s owners let him roam around outside. Roger began sniffing around Cohen’s home (some believe Roger had heard the man’s calls for help), and once Roger found the elderly man, he didn’t leave his side for the rest of the day. After a couple of hours, Frances Wall, Roger’s owner, began calling for Roger. When he didn’t immediately come home when she called, she started looking for him, and that’s when she found Roger and Cohen. She immediately called emergency services, and three firefighters came by the home to free Cohen. They quickly took him to the hospital because they worried about hypothermia.
The best thing about April Fools’ Day — apart from the satisfaction of a fantastic prank — is laughing with your friends and family. Laughter is a scientifically proven medicine. It can relieve stress, release pain and tension, and improve your mood. So, this April Fools’ Day, we’re giving you a chance to win several hours of laughter in the form of FREE movie tickets! If you enter our giveaway and win one of the three pairs of tickets, you can use them to see the latest and greatest comedy in theaters. Don’t worry if this sounds intimidating — entering is easier than you think! THE RULES To enter the raffle, all you need to do is figure out the answer to one of our three April Fools’ Day riddles. Then, text it to us at 210-756- 5399 or email us at giveaway@packardfirm.com by Sunday, April 30, and we’ll put your name in the hat for free movie tickets. OUR SILLY RIDDLES We borrowed these from the internet, but fair is fair — don’t go Googling them! Remember, you only need to guess one answer correctly for a chance to win. 1. Which fish is the most expensive? 2. What begins with an “e” and only contains one letter? 3. When it’s alive we sing, when it dies, we clap. What is it? And as a bonus, here is one that Michael wrote: I am a room with no window or doors, no ceiling, or floors. I thrive in the dark, yet I grow in a day. Look at the bark or where there’s decay. HOW TO WIN Are you feeling lucky? If you’ve puzzled out one or more of the answers, text them to us at 210-756-5399 or email us at giveaway@ packardfirm.com. If you submit your answer(s) by Sunday, April 30, we’ll enter you into our drawing to win one of our three pairs of movie theater tickets. ANSWER OUR RIDDLES, WIN FREE MOVIE TICKETS!
Over a week later, medical staff released Cohen from the hospital, and now he gives Roger treats whenever he sees him. “I owe my life to that dog. They [health care professionals] said that if I
would’ve been there for a few more hours, I would have been a goner,” Cohen told Bournemouth Daily Echo. Fortunately for Cohen, Roger’s amazing canine senses saved the day. It’s always great to have a furry friend around — you never know when their incredible skills will come in handy!
Good luck, and happy riddling!
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FAVORITE LOVE NOTES FROM OUR CLIENTS Thank You for Your Kind Reviews!
“I want to simply say thank you to attorney Brent Packard and his staff. I had been in a rear-end car accident, [and] my life drastically changed. I am normally pretty healthy and physically active, [but] the accident changed everything. I did not know what to do — the other person even made me feel like I was the culprit. I contacted Packard Law Firm at the advice of a friend, and I am so glad I did. Mr. Packard met with me to introduce himself and went over brief details. He sent me to a great doctor, I got the medical attention I needed, and Mr. Packard took care of the rest. He was always informing me of the steps ahead, and I am very pleased by the outcome of [it] all. Thank you, Mr. Packard, for such a personalized experience [and] for your honesty and hard work. Blessings to you and your law firm.” –Aurora We hope everyone who works with us has this kind of positive experience! If you haven’t left a review yet, please consider doing so. You might turn someone’s life around.
If you’ve given our team a five-star review on Google or Facebook, thank you so much for your support! These kind words warm our hearts because reviews help friends and neighbors in need find our firm. Here are two of our favorite love notes from our collection. If you left one of these gems, thank you again! “I had been trying to get disability for years and was denied over five times. I have a rare form of leukemia that hinders me from being able to work, but I wasn’t getting approved. I decided to seek legal representation through Packard Law Firm, and they got me my disability the first time they filed on my behalf. I highly recommend them if you find yourself in a situation like mine. They are kind, compassionate, and know what they are doing, and they aren’t afraid to fight for you and advocate for you. I didn’t really need to do anything but let them know whenever I had a new appointment. Other than that, they collected all my records to show evidence of my disability. It was too easy. I wish I would have called them sooner. Don’t wait! They can help you!!” –Amanda
– Michael Packard
TAKE A BREAK
ONE-PAN CHICKEN AND MUSHROOMS WITH EGG NOODLES
Inspired by MarthaStewart.com
Ingredients
• 3 slices bacon, cut into 1/2-inch pieces • 4 bone-in, skin-on chicken breasts, halved
• 8 oz button mushrooms, trimmed • 8 oz shallots, peeled and halved
• 3 cups chicken broth • 1/2 cup heavy cream • 8 oz egg noodles • 1/3 cup chopped fresh dill
• Salt and ground pepper • 3 tbsp butter, divided
Directions
1. In a large pan over medium heat, cook bacon until browned, 7–9 minutes. Remove from heat, discard fat, and set aside. Season chicken with salt and pepper. Return pan to medium-high heat and melt 2 tbsp butter. Add chicken, skin-side down. Cook, turning a few times, for 10–12 minutes until browned. Transfer to a plate. 2. Place remaining 1 tbsp butter in pan to melt. Add mushrooms and shallots; cook 8–10 minutes. Add broth and cream; bring to a boil. Stir in noodles. 3. Add chicken (skin-side up), cover pan, reduce heat, and simmer, stirring once halfway through. Cook about 10–12 minutes. 4. Uncover and simmer until thickened. Stir in dill and top with bacon. Serve and enjoy!
Buds Conservation Diamond Easter
Lily Planting Refund Regrowth
Shower Sweets Taxes Volunteer
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1100 NW Loop 410, Ste 100 San Antonio, TX 78213 210-756-5399 | PackardFirm.com/newsletter
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1. A History of Having Fun on April 1 2. Never Doubt a Canine’s Senses Play Our Game to Win Movie Tickets! 3. Our Firm’s Love Note Collection One-Pan Chicken and Mushrooms With Egg Noodles 4. Hold the Cheese, Please!
CHEESE AND DESIST!
McDonald’s Customers Sue for Being Forced to Pay for Cheese
In Fort Lauderdale, Florida, things got a little crazy! Two McDonald’s customers sued the fast-food chain for $5 million, alleging they were unfairly charged when they ordered Quarter Pounders without cheese. According to the lawsuit, the fast-food restaurant chain historically had four menu options: a Quarter Pounder with cheese, a Double Quarter Pounder with cheese, a Quarter Pounder, and a Double Quarter Pounder. The “with cheese” options were roughly between 30 cents and 90 cents more expensive than the “without cheese” burgers. At some point, McDonald’s discontinued the “without cheese” options. Only a Quarter Pounder with cheese and a Double Quarter Pounder with cheese were available at the time these two customers visited the restaurant. The ingredients listed on McDonald’s website for these items include a sesame seed bun, quarter-pound 100% beef patty, ketchup, onions, pasteurized processed American cheese, and pickle slices. These customers ordered Quarter Pounders but asked for no cheese on their burger, and they did not receive cheese on their burger but were charged the same price as a Quarter Pounder with cheese. Their lawsuit states that they, and other customers who do not want cheese on their burgers, are forced to pay for two slices of cheese
anyway, and they sued for damages as a result of being overcharged and required to pay for American cheese when they did not want or receive it on their burger. According to USA Today, a McDonald’s spokesperson advised that the company does its best to allow customers to customize their food orders. If someone doesn’t want cheese as it is listed on the menu, the fast-food chain will not include cheese, thus they didn’t think the lawsuit has any merit.
And because the McDonald’s customers failed to prove they were damaged by an overcharge, the case was dismissed!
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