with D r. Clyde M , Narramore
Dr. Narramore, graduate ef Columbia University, New York City, is a psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one ef the largest school systems in the United States.
HOW SHALL WE TREAT HER? Q. We have a young girl in our church who is unmarried and has just given birth to a baby. She has been away from home, church and community for the past five or six months. Her baby has been taken from her and given up for adoption. She will be home shortly. I wonder if it’s customary for a girl like this to reappear at church and especially at young people’s meetings or activities. Will this have any effect on other young people who know why she has been away? As an adult who works with young people, I would like to know what my attitude should be. A. I appreciate your writing and I would like to mention several things because there are many who are faced with this unfortunate prob lem. Young people and parents, as well as churches, often see this trag edy and are bewildered about what attitude they should take. First of all, ask yourself, “What would God do?” You can get your answer by looking into the Word of God. You can have the mind of God as you read His Word. In the Bible we read about Christ’s coming upon the woman who was taken in the very act of adultery. The people blamed her and asked Christ what should be done. He said, to her, “ Go and sin no more.” Then He suggested that those who had no sin should cast the first stone. Of course, they all turned and walked away because no one was without sin. You and I are in the same posi tion. We might not have committed the sin that this girl has committed but we are all sinners. Indeed we should regard with compassion oth ers who have transgressed God’s laws. You have asked about the cus
tomary thing to do. Actually, it doesn’t matter what the “ customary” thing to do is. Ask yourself, “What is the godly thing to do?” You can be sweet and godly to this girl and help restore her. Deal with her privately about her sin and help her to seek complete forgiveness. May I remind you that you do not have to punish the girl, because the sin carries with it its own punish ment? You have to think about the girl and you must also think about the young people’s group. I believe your young people will see through this entire episode and will consequently be warned by it. If any of them talk to you about it privately, help them to understand how this girl has suf fered and will suffer for years to come. But when you counsel with the girl, herself, help to restore her to fellowship with God, or lead her to Christ, if she has never been truly saved. SOME KIND OF A NUT? Q. I am in my forties and have a neurotic personality. For years I have been bothered with depression and fears of all kinds. A t times 1 feel quite well, but the recurrences are what worry me and make things seem so hopeless. Even my faith seems to be fading. My medical doctor has examined me thoroughly and has found noth ing. He finally told me I was some kind of a "nut” and that no one could help me. My husband gets real disgusted with me irhen I don’t feel like get ting out into crowds. I have three children, and I feel I am not being a good mother. Six months ago I decided to go to a psychiatrist and he has given me some encouragement. He says I am better than when I first came to him,
but it is hard for me to see this. He says I am very sensitive and that it will take time for me to get well. Do you think he can help me, or am I just wasting my money? A. I appreciate your frankness. You ask, “ Do you think a psychiatrist can help me or am I just wasting my money?” No, you are not wasting your money and I do think you can receive help from a well-trained psychiatrist. Naturally, this kind of help is slow, but don’t give up. You say, “ Even my faith seems to be fading.” When a person has men tal or emotional problems, he often has difficulties with his faith. In other words, he has a total problem. When you regain your health, un doubtedly you will feel confident about your faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. You said that the doctor referred to you as “ some kind of a nut,” and said no one could ever help you. People are not nuts. No matter how disturbed we become, we are still precious human beings for whom Christ died. So we should never re fer to a person as a “ nut.” The very fact that he said that you could not be helped, perhaps is an indication that he did not understand you. Re member, we can be helped as long as we are still breathing. You say that your husband gets disgusted with you when you will not go out into a crowd. This is natural, of course, because when a husband does not understand his mate, he is likely to say such things. Evidently your husband does not understand mental illness. It is so important that husbands and wives try to be cordial and understanding to each other. When a person is mentally disturbed, he needs patient treatment by his mate.
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