Pause, reflect, and find inspiration in the words of others this morning whilst wearing your red shoes!
SUNDAY FOR THE ADVENTUROUS SOBER SOUL
Susan Christina Creamer EDITOR + PUBLISHER Happy Sunday and look out for the fabulous November edition of Hola Sober which will be in your inbox by tomorrow and I hope you enjoy it as much as I have done creating it! Susan Christina Creamer "Unscripted, unedited, and wholly authentic people are almost universally admired, especially if they have flaws, are not afraid to make live, red-blooded mistakes, and rather than trying are busy simply being. Which is something you should consider hiring a tattoo artist to script across the palm of your hand: Be, Don’t Try. “Oh my God, I can’t do that. I would totally mess up.” You better pray to the corn god that you do. Messing up is how you tell other people, “It’s okay to like me, because I’m just like you.” Everybody feels a bit like a dented can inside. Even the slickest, most polished person you can think of is more aware of their shortcomings and flaws than their talents and gifts.” ― Augusten Burroughs, editor's note Welcome to Sunday morning at Hola Sober where we enjoy a little motivation, inspiration, colour, and joy over morning coffee. This morning I am leaning on a 'greatest hits' issue from some months ago as I am about to send out our monthly magazine and time is of the essence here in Madrid! This is the power of NOT CHARGING people for the privilege of being in their inbox - I can resend the greatest hit version and it's okay to do so. I don't need to explain a million reasons why I am sending this out other than to say, I have never missed a morning in almost four years and have no intention of missing one today!!!
YES, YOU CAN.
before you
HOLA SOBER PLEDGE
Today we dare not forget that we are the heirs of that first revolution; let the word go forth that the torch has been passed to a new generation of women. Let all who hear us speak know we will bear any burden to support our Hola Sober sisters on this journey. To all sisters on high, know we are here fighting a new fight as a new set of revolutionaries who will oppose all who stand in our path, to assure the survival and the success of our sobriety, at our very core this much we pledge.
daily email
Dearest Sober Queens "In the movie, Dorothy is gifted the slippers from Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, to keep them safe from the Wicked Witch of the West and to help her return home to Kansas. Over the years, they have become one of the most iconic parts of the film and of American culture" - Wikipedia We are all Dorothy…on a yellow brick road… Bloody Nora this week my inbox has been slammed by so many women writing in the dead of night seeking a red slipper of sorts to wing their way through sobriety; wishing for the 'thing' that is destroying them to somehow magic-ed away. They know they drink too much and have asked Prof. Google every connotation of the question that is “Am I an alcoholic?” Their desire for sobriety is not in question but they seemed to have missed the memo on the work it takes to dismantle the subconscious false belief system ingrained in all women around alcohol and the commitment it takes to live this way as a lifestyle choice. Being a sober powerhouse is not a matter of "Click your heels together three times and say 'There's no place like home' and you'll be there." I hate to break it to the ladies-of-my- inbox, but that was a movie � This is real life and although I speak of you being the lead actor in your own life, please, don't take me so literally… Red Slippers for me in sobriety is the daily commitment to my Hola Sober Pledge, my community + connections, my routines + rituals, and my unflinching non-negotiables + the wisdom of the Hola Sober rooms. There is no fast solution. There is no pill to take or manual you can read. Some women grab hold of their sobriety and never look back. Some others get on and off the sober train with such spinning regularity that I fear they will die from denial. THIS cloud of denial is dangerous.
We are all Dorothy
"Click your heels together three times and say 'There's no place like home' and you'll be there." Red Slippers for me in sobriety is the daily commitment to my Hola Sober Pledge, my community + connections, my routines + rituals and my unflinching non-negotiables + the wisdom of the Hola Sober rooms. "A few years ago, while watching an Oprah segment she opened up about her “life lesson” at age 7, an “ah-ha” moment! During a conversation with thought leader Jean Houston about the life lessons everyone can learn from The Wizard of Oz, Oprah opens up about how Glinda's simple words — “You've always had the power” — have never left her. “I remember I was probably 7 or 8 years old when I figured out [“The Wizard of Oz”] was more than just a story about the yellow brick road,” Oprah says. “I remember when I realised [Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Cowardly Lion] were her friends and the yellow brick road means going up the path and looking outside of yourself and that it's always right here.” “You're always wearing those red shoes,” Jean says. - Wisdom from Oz Blog I too feel I am always wearing my red shoes…Click your heels together three times and say 'There's no place like home' and you'll be there." Red Slippers for me in sobriety is the daily commitment to my Hola Sober Pledge, my community + connections, my routines + rituals, and my unflinching non-negotiables + the wisdom of the Hola Sober rooms. I hope you will put on your red shoes and join the dawn chorus as we look skyward and say not today lady, not today. ❤️ You've always had the power, my dear, you just had to learn it yourself….. Lots of love Susan ❤️
SUNDAY THOUGHT
not today lady, not today.
JOHN O DONOHUE
We were all reared in a world that concentrated on sin and sinfulness, but I believe that when we come into the eternal world we won’t so much be checked for our failures, but we will be asked whether we honored the possibilities that were placed inside us when we were so carefully fashioned out of the clay.
SUNDAY THOUGHT
not today lady, not today.
JOHN O DONOHUE
Imagination according to William Blake is about the awakening to and recognition of the sacredness of all the difference that there is. Where the imagination is alive, wonder is completely alive. Where the imagination is alive, possibility is awake.
I got sober. I stopped killing myself with alcohol. I began to think: ‘Wait a minute. If I can stop doing this, what are the possibilities?’ And slowly it dawned on me that it was maybe worth the risk.
CRAIG FERGUSON
There was a contest in Ancient Greece to find out who could write a sentence that would somehow always be true. The sentence that won the competition was “This too shall pass.
JOHN O DONOHUE
As Spring rain softens the Earth with surprise May your Winter places be kissed by light.
As the ocean dreams to the joy of dance May the grace of change bring you elegance.
As day anchors a tree in light and wind May your outer life grow from peace within.
As twilight fills night with bright horizons May Beauty await you at home beyond. -John O Donohue
LAURA MCKOWEN beautiful powerful words
WE ARE THE LUCKIEST
“Because sober or not, until you start to tell the truth, you're going to be desperately lonely. Perhaps this is obvious, but I'm pretty sure it escapes most of us. We know we're lonely...but we don't really know why...I felt a nagging ache of separateness I could not name. Despite being surrounded by people, having a big social life, more plans than I had time for, and a solid group of people I considered friends, I still felt very much alone. I felt alone in my marriage. I felt alone in my friendships, And actually being alone by myself? Forget it - that was intolerable... Loneliness started to abate only when I began to really let people in and tell them the truth, and that took a long, long time. The antidote to loneliness wasn't just being around others or sharing common ground. It was intimacy. My friend Meadow's definition of intimacy...she says, "Intimacy is having a kind, compassionate witness to your truest thoughts and feelings." Having a witness also means being seen. Really seen. In all our humanity - flaws and ugly bits and all. Even the most courageous of us are willing to go about 90 percent of the way there, but we hold on to that last 10 percent, the part that could allow us to be really known. Sobriety hasn't so much been about revealing the 90 percent but that last 10. The little bit I always want to keep to myself. The problem is, 10 percent of withholding, or secretiveness, will still eventually contaminate the whole...And keeping 10 percent of yourself from your partner, or whomever you could trust with your heart, will make you 100 percent lonely.”
Laura McKowen
Purgatory
In The Divine Comedy, Dante described purgatory as a place where the soul is cleansed of all impurities, It is known as a place where suffering and misery are felt to be sharp, but temporary. This for me was what it felt like to have one foot in the new, strange land of sobriety and the other firmly, desperately, in my old life. The is what it feels like for all of us, I think, when we have only half- decided to own our thing, When we have only half- surrendered, only half-committed to becoming different... I thought about how anything would be better than this. This purgatory. This unbearable wishing for one side or another. This unsustainable stretching. My inevitable crash landing. I was going to have to pick a side. The same is true for all of us when it comes to our things. We have to pick a side, If we ever want out of purgatory, we have to decide if we are going back to a life of denial and secrecy and hiding and gripping onto the thing we do not know how to live without, or if we are going to take a stab at doing a thing we have never done before. -Laura McKowen
I also had to believe I had in me the capacity for things I could not imagine in my mind. That somewhere within me there was a primal wisdom I could not possibly understand or access, but that not being to didn't make it any less real. There was so much of life beyond my limited mental grasp - most of life, in fact. Breathing, for example. The impossible expanse of the ocean and the underworld it contains. Quantum physics. Animals. My daughter. So when I got really scared and thought a proud, dignified, peaceful sober life was beyond the pale of what was possible for me, I would say to myself, I can't do this, but something inside me can. I can't tell you how many times I've whispered those words in the dark. -Laura McKowen words in the dark
control
You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be
trying to control. Elizabeth Gilbert
Addiction
Addiction to alcohol is also a neurological phenomenon, the result of a complex set of molecular alterations that take place in the brain when it’s excessively and repeatedly exposed to the drug. The science of addiction is complicated, but the basic idea is fairly straightforward: alcohol appears to wreak havoc on the brain’s natural systems of craving and reward, compromising the functioning of the various neurotransmitters and proteins that create feelings of well-being.
caroline knapp
fall past you.
Of course, active alcoholics love hearing about the worst cases; we cling to stories about them. Those are the true alcoholics: the unstable and the lunatic; the bum in the subway drinking from the bottle; the red-faced salesman slugging it down in a cheap hotel. Those alcoholics are always a good ten or twenty steps farther down the line than we are, and no matter how many private pangs of worry we harbor about our own drinking, they always serve to remind us that we’re okay, safe, in sufficient control. Growing up, whatever vague definition of alcoholism I had centered around the crazy ones—Eliza’s mother, Lauren’s father’s ex- wife, the occasional drunken parent of a friend. Alcoholics like that make you feel so much better: you can look at them and think, But my family wasn’t crazy; I’m not like that; I must be safe. When you’re drinking, the dividing line between you and real trouble always manages to fall just past
where you stand. -Caroline Knapp
It is such a great moment of liberation when you learn to forgive yourself, let the burden go, and walk out into a new path of promise and possibility. Self-compassion is a wonderful gift to give yourself. You should never reduce the mystery and expanse of your presence to a haunted fixation with something you did or did not do. -John O Donohue self compassion
For now, I want to share three inspirations that form the cornerstones of how I live into my sobriety.
1. I went to AA meetings regularly during my first year of sobriety, and I still work the program. It’s not for everyone, but it makes sense to me. And, I’m unapologetic about taking what works and leaving the rest. This passage from the AA Big Book is the truest and most important touchstone to my recovery: That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. For me, this means that if I stay in fit spiritual condition—boundaries, vulnerability, honesty, authenticity, connection to God, healthy food, exercise, and sleep—I will experience the miracle of neutrality. I won’t be running toward or away from a cold beer or warm carbs. 2. Ten years after I got sober, my breakdown spiritual awakening started. In addition to not drinking, I had just quit sugar and bread for the first time. I thought I was going to come out of my skin. I sat across from my therapist, Diana, and said, “You need to give me something for my anxiety. I can’t take it. There’s nothing to take the edge off anymore. I’m freaking out.” Diana calmly replied, “What do you want me to give you?” Infuriated by her calmness, I said, “I don’t know! Medicine. Something for the anxiety! I’m like a turtle without a shell. I have NO SHELL! No booze, no muffins, nothing! I’m a turtle without a shell in a briar patch. Everything in the briar patch is poking me and jabbing me. It hurts.” She said, “Maybe we should talk about getting out of the briar patch?” I was pissed. “Get out of the fucking briar patch? That’s your advice? Instead of giving me a new shell, you want me to live somewhere less prickly? Seriously?” Diana said, “You don’t need to find a different place to live. Maybe we could just think about a different way to live. One that doesn’t require that heavy shell.” DAMMIT. We spent the better part of a year identifying the briar patch, and I learned how to be a turtle without a shell. Today, when I’m feeling poked and jabbed by life, my first instinct is still to reach for the shell, but now I catch myself. My briar patch is not enough sleep, too much work, too many expectations, resentment, perfecting, pleasing, proving, and a few other thorny things. 3. This last one is a quote from Mary Karr. I read it in an interview she did for The Fix. I recommend you read the entire interview—it blew me away. That schoolmarm part of me—that hypercritical finger-wagging part of myself that I thought was gonna keep me sober—that was actually what helped me stay drunk. What keeps you sober is love and connection to something bigger than yourself. When I got sober, I thought giving up [alcohol] was saying goodbye to all the fun and all the sparkle, and it turned out to be just the opposite. That’s when the sparkle started for me. - Brene Brown
Take your POWER back
FOR THE ADVENTUROUS SOBER SOUL
Peggi Cooney asks What is Self Care
Beth MT Talks about the Cuppa
Janey Lee Grace Self Care in Sobriety
Alice Parvin with Seventy, Sober + Dating
Brian O Connell talks of running + sobriety
Ann Dowsett Johnston with The Frog Pond
Jennifer Bridgman writes Home Run
dancing MOOD
MOVE THROUGH THE MOOD
HANDMADE SILVER JEWELLERY
I make handcrafted, unique, silver and gemstone jewellery designed for each individual customer in my small bespoke silver studio based in South East England. I want you to love wearing your finished jewellery as much as I love making it. Talk to me about how I can help you create jewellery that is perfect for you. Please visit my website and reach out so we can work on your next self-care silver treat together!
LORIOH DESIGN
Unexpected treasures for your Bohemian heart.
Coffee Time We are all different, yet the same. not today lady not today
D O N A
T E
PLEASE READ
If you wish to submit for our HOLA SOBER MONTHLY MAGAZINE; please email: submissions@holasober.com
To all ladies who give permission to publish your words. Thank you, Lisa Wilde for all your support, words, and help - thank you.
Note: I am not a professional designer, writer, or creator; I am a woman who drank wine and now talks about not drinking creating this platform and magazine in a moment of pure madness offering EVERYTHING for FREE.
If there are spelling mistakes or grammatical errors, cut me some slack as this is a FREE MAGAZINE made with love.
The HOLA SOBER PLATFORM (Magazine, Meetings, Emails) would not be possible without the financial and loving support of my husband, and three sons who support this project 100% . Shout out, as always, to Deb + Judith, Gee + Colette ❤️
www.holasober.com
| HOLA SOBER | Madrid | Spain | EPIC Sober Support Magazine | | Owner & Editor | Susan Christina Creamer | FREE |
Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 Page 9 Page 10 Page 11 Page 12 Page 13 Page 14 Page 15 Page 16 Page 17 Page 18 Page 19 Page 20 Page 21 Page 22 Page 23 Page 24 Page 25 Page 26 Page 27 Page 28 Page 29 Page 30 Page 31 Page 32 Page 33 Page 34 Page 35 Page 36 Page 37 Page 38Made with FlippingBook - Online magazine maker