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Dr. Clyde M. Narramore, graduate of Columbia Uni versity, New York City, is a psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one of the largest school systems in America.
in your problem and that He will walk with you in this time of dis tress. What you desire through all of this experience is the blessing of God. But you can’t have it unless you abide by His Word, the Bible. You should not leave your hus band. The only basis for such action is unfaithfulness, and even unfaith fulness does not necessarily justify separation or divorce. See Matthew 5:31, 32; Matthew 19:1-11; Mark 10:1-12; 1 Corinthians 7:1-66; Ephesians 5:22-33. Your husband is sick and he needs you more than ever. How would you like your husband to leave you simply because you were ill? Your staying with him will eventually help him get well. He may not recover unless you do stick by him. May I remind you that your first responsibility (after God) is to your husband. If you take care of your first responsibility — your husband — other responsibilities will work out all right. If you leave your hus band now, you may eventually lose your children too when they become old enough to realize the injustice. The secret of every successful fam ily is the love between husband and wife. Other relationships will re solve themselves if the husband and wife love each other and stay to gether. The nature of your husband’s ill ness prevents him from contributing much to your family. But he won’t be ill forever. You can probably expect him to improve little by little until he is finally well. Whether or not your husband recovers depends largely upon you. Even though he is mentally ill, he knows whether you are standing by him. It means everything to him to have your confidence and love.
Mental Illness Q. Is there more mental illness in America than in other nations of the world? A. Medical doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists throughout the world report a high incidence of mental illness. Although there is much mental illness in America, it is also true that America probably leads the world in identification and diagnosis of this illness. If other nations had the facilities for finding such cases, they might reasonably report many more than they do now. In Sickness and in Health Q. I am a born-again Christian lady in my 30s with three children. Dur ing the past three years my hus band has been mentally ill. He has spent much of that time at home or in hospitals taking shock treatments and medication. While he is at home he cannot adjust to family life. At times when he is annoyed, he is completely irrational and will throw almost anything in reach. As a Christian do you think it would be right to leave him while he is in a hospital, that is, if the doctors will not send him to a state hospital? I am most concerned about the children growing up in such an environment. They were so relieved when their father went back to the hospital about two weeks ago. I am in fair health but do not have any special way of making a living. I could however take some special training. I would appreciate your advice as a psychologist. A. This is a common problem. Many husbands and wives are go ing through similar experience. But rest assured that God is interested
There will be times when your love will be the only thread of hope that he can grasp. Don’t desert him. You see, your love for him is a symbol of God’s love. A person who is mentally ill sometimes feels that God has forsaken him. But his faith in God is restored by the fact that his wife is still loving him. So in your case, you, in a sense, repre sent God. If you fail your husband, he will likely interpret it as being forsaken by God. You are right in wanting to give your children a healthy environ ment. However, occasional contacts with their daddy will mean much more to your children than any thing else you could gain by taking them away from him. Children can get along quite well without nice homes, automobiles, fine clothes, higher education and all the rest. But they do need their parents, even if one parent is ill and away from the home part of the time. If your husband becomes danger ous, you should take steps to give him hospital care. But don’t leave him. Is God dead? Is He not interested in you and your family? Undoubt edly your greatest need just now is a closer fellowship with God. Devote yourself more completely to Him and He will enable you to go through this experience with real victory and confidence. “ Trust in the L ord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own under standing. In all thy ways acknowl edge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Prov. 3:5, 6).
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Readers are invited to submit ques tions to both Dr. Narramore and Dr. Talbot. Address questions to them c/o The King's Business, 558 So. Hope Street, Los Angeles 17, Calif.
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APRIL 1957
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