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Why Not You? Why Not Now?
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“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” – C.S. Lewis Every week, I meet virtually with a smart and reflective group of estate planning and elder law attorneys from all across the country. Some of us have been doing this work for decades. Others are newer to the field, still building their practices and figuring it out as they go. But no matter our experience, we all come together to learn, grow, and help each other improve — not just as lawyers, but as people. The prompt for discussion at a recent meeting was simple but powerful: “What would you tell your younger self?” I wasn’t sure what to expect. Maybe generic advice, a few stories, and some light reflection.
“Why not you?” Simple and direct, but it stuck. It’s so easy to doubt ourselves. To hold back. To assume someone else is more qualified, more ready, more deserving. We hesitate. We wait for perfect timing. We second-guess our instincts. And before we know it, we’ve let opportunities drift by. Why not believe that you are exactly the right person to take the next step, to speak up, to lead, to love, to heal? As I reflected on it, I added three more words: “Why not now?” Because waiting often feels safer. We wait until the kids are older. Until we feel more confident. Until we get everything “figured out.” But life doesn’t usually give us a perfect green light. Sometimes, we just have to go. Even if it’s uncomfortable. So now that quote, “Why not you? Why not now?” lives by my desk, where I reflect on it daily. Maybe that’s what I would tell my younger self. And maybe it’s what my older self still needs to hear. So, my simple challenge for you this month is to ask yourself: “Why not you? Why not now?” The answer may surprise you, and might energize you in a way you didn’t expect.
But that’s not what happened.
Over the next hour, the conversation turned thoughtful. It turned vulnerable. It turned human. We talked about the things we wished we had known, things we’ve learned the hard way, and things we still wrestle with. In that short time, even though we were all on different screens in different states, there was a deep sense of connection. Of understanding, mutual respect, empathy, and quiet strength.
The comments were wide-ranging and honest: “Stop caring so much what others think.” “You don’t have to be ready to start ... to start.” “Be willing to fail.” “Say no, set boundaries, and protect your time.” “Potential lies outside your comfort zone.”
“Your kids don’t care about your business. They care that you showed up for the game. That you stayed a little longer at the dinner table. That you were there.” One that hit close to home was, “Don’t lose your inner child.” Think back to your 10-year-old self — the kid filled with curiosity, wonder, and spontaneous joy. That part of us still exists, quietly tucked beneath the layers of responsibility and routine. It’s the part that notices beauty in ordinary things and imagines without limits. And though life has a way of dimming it, that spark is what keeps us most human. We don’t outgrow it — we forget it’s there. But we need to remember and keep that inner child alive.
I’ll leave you with an apt quote by Ayn Rand:
“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”
But the reflection that hit me hardest was just three words:
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The $100K Reason to Get a Pet
New Study Says Pets Are Worth Plenty
To determine whether pets actually improve happiness, rather than the opposite — happy people are more likely to have pets — the team factored in things like age, income, personality traits, and family size. They also used a clever workaround: They asked people whether they look after their neighbor’s house while they’re away. That behavior is linked to pet ownership but not directly to happiness, which helped researchers isolate the impact of pet ownership. It’s not just a fun fact, either. Experts say findings like this could affect everything from housing laws to public health programs. If pets fight loneliness and lift people’s moods, it might make sense to rethink rules that prevent pet ownership in some apartments and assisted living facilities. While the researchers focused only on cats and dogs, the message came through clearly. Pets matter, maybe even more than we thought. And if you already live with one and know how they benefit your well-being, the science now backs you up. That wagging tail or soft purr might be worth more than you ever guessed.
Most pet owners already know their furry friends make life better, but according to a new study, the value might be higher than anyone realized. Some researchers say it’s close to $100,000. Researchers in the U.K. aimed to measure how much happiness dogs and cats bring to people’s lives. Using data from more than 700 people, they found that owning a pet can boost life satisfaction as much as getting married or landing a massive raise. In economic terms, it’s the emotional equivalent of earning nearly $93,000 more per year.
A big, active social circle with lots of friends is often portrayed as the key to happiness. Recent research paints a more nuanced picture, showing that having fewer, but deeper friendships actually delivers bigger benefits as we age. A recent British study of 335 mature adults aged 65 and over found that just a handful of close friends can foster a sense of social connection and well-being. Specifically, just four close friends are enough to ease loneliness, and ties with three close friends were enough to ease stress. Friends are important at any age, but friendships among seniors are distinguished by some interesting differences. Research shows that older adults place a higher value on emotionally close friends than younger people. Also, seniors’ friendships tend to be deeper and more satisfying and to offer more support in discussing core concerns such as health problems. Surprisingly, deep bonds with close friends are linked more strongly with long-term well-being than ties with children and grandchildren. One possible reason is that family ties can be complicated by caregiving and other obligations. While we are born into our families, we get to choose our friends, for no other reason than that we love being with them. HOW FRIENDSHIPS GROW STRONGER OVER TIME
Can social media help build friendships later in life? Yes, as long as it sustains and fortifies existing ties. Social media is most helpful for older adults when they use it to strengthen and deepen a sense of connection with people they already know, rather than browsing online or posting on community platforms. Social media can support existing relationships by giving older adults a chance to “see” and “be seen” by family and friends, the research shows. The research conveys a reassuring message: For healthy, happy aging, deepening the ties seniors already have can be even more helpful than trying to form new social groups and ties.
MichiganEstatePlans.com • 888.487.6150
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Sudoku
After retiring from a high-powered career, finding a sense of identity beyond the office can be challenging. More than 11,000 Americans turn 65 daily, and many face a sense of identity loss — a detachment from the sense of self that propelled them through a decades-long career. Losing that sense of self can trigger grieving and uncertainty. But fellow travelers across this emotional gulf have found energizing remedies for that loss. Working Lite Stepping into a part-time or consulting role in your area of expertise can sustain the sense of relevance many retirees desire. Redirecting your career skills to serving on a board or helping lead a nonprofit you admire can also lend meaning to life. Among retirees who keep working, 80% of them do so voluntarily, according to a Harvard Business Review survey. Helping Others One way to get past a loss of identity is to focus on helping others. Consider reaching out to a charitable organization to support needy kids, families, seniors, pets, or environmental causes. Visit VolunteerMatch.org for searchable opportunities in your areas of interest, including culture or the arts. Embrace a Hobby Now is the time to dive into a neglected passion you never had time for while working! Consider pursuing gardening, crafts, photography, painting, or music. If you don’t have a hobby, ask yourself what you loved doing in childhood. Use those seeds of interest to find classes or groups to help you cultivate them. Get Active Joining a hiking group, exercise class, or pickleball league can deliver dual benefits — physical activity, plus new social ties from exercising with others. Another option is to develop a side hustle in an interesting location, such as hosting at a campground. Check out opportunities at Coolworks.com or Backdoorjobs.com. Learn Something New Learning a new language can open new doors to travel and sharpen your cognitive skills, delaying the onset of dementia. Check out Rosetta Stone software from your local library, or try a free language learning program such as Open Culture, Duolingo, or Babbel. If this list of possibilities seems overwhelming, remember: The average length of a person’s retirement is 20 years. You most likely have time to try a new pursuit or two, and enjoy the health benefits likely to accompany it. Rediscovering Yourself After a High-Powered Career Retool Your Retirement Resume
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Helpful Resources • Is your estate plan up to date? Ask us about our FREE Estate Planning Checkup. Call our office or email Julie@mtolaw.com. • Don’t miss Glenn on “Senior Law Radio,” WHMI FM 93.5 every Sunday at 8 a.m. You can also listen live (or to previous shows) on WHMI.com. • Questions about your money? Do you need help with your financial goals, investment management, or retirement planning? Glenn has partnered with his personal financial advisor, Brad Jerome, to bring expert financial services to our clients. Brad meets with you right in our office — no cost, no obligation, and no pressure — just an opportunity to discuss your goals with a top-notch financial advisor to see where your path might lead. You can reach Brad directly at 517.301.3070. • Let us be your trusted advisor for all your legal matters. We’ve grown with the referrals we receive from our clients. We want to return the favor by helping you find a great attorney outside of estate planning, elder law, and probate. Our clients often call us in need of an attorney who focuses on personal injury, auto accidents, elder and nursing home abuse, workers’ compensation, Social Security disability, and many other areas. To get the best results, you need an experienced attorney to help. If you want a referral, call our office or email Julie@mtolaw.com. We are glad to help!
MichiganEstatePlans.com • 888.487.6150
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MichiganEstatePlans.com • 888.487.6150 915 N. Michigan Avenue, Suite 6 Howell, Michigan 48843
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What’s Inside? 1 2
Life Advice for Any Age and Every Mind
Why Pets Beat Pay Raises The Paths to Deeper Senior Friendships
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Steps to Rebuilding a Sense of Identity in Retirement Helpful Resources
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The Wild History of the Wild West’s Stump Houses
Imagine wandering through a dense, misty forest when you spot a cozy little home carved into the base of a towering tree stump. It sounds like something straight out of a fairytale, but in the rugged 1800s, it was everyday reality for some of America’s earliest settlers on the West Coast. Back then, before the lumber industry toppled millions of ancient giants, the forests were filled with trees so massive their trunks could measure 20 feet across or more. Once felled (a task so intense it could take a month), these colossal stumps were too big, stubborn, and abundant to remove easily. Rather than blowing them up (though some tried with dynamite), the pioneers did what pioneers do best: They got scrappy. They turned the stumps into homes, post offices, barns, and even dance floors! One of the most legendary stump homes was the Lennstrom Stump House in Edgecomb, Washington. Crafted from a cedar stump 22 feet wide, it sheltered three adults and three children, proving that creativity could turn leftover lumber into a home. Though the original Lennstrom house met its end in 1946, you can still marvel at an 18-foot stump house today at the Stillaguamish Valley Pioneer Museum nearby. How 1800s Pioneers Turned Tree Stumps Into Cozy Homes
But stump houses weren’t just for surviving; they were for celebrating, too. In Calaveras, California, settlers turned a massive hollowed- out tree into a grand dance hall and hotel. Guests waltzed under twinkling candlelight and cedar boughs strung high above the forest floor. As one 1850s newspaper gushed, it was “romantic and beautiful beyond description” (although the ladies did wish the stump- turned-dance floor had a little more bounce)!
In a time when luxury was a warm fire and a sturdy roof (or stump) over your head, these quirky homes captured the best of pioneer spirit: grit, resourcefulness, and a little bit of magic. Next time you pass an ancient stump on a hike, imagine what stories it might hold. In the right hands and with a bit of imagination, it might have been the coziest home on the frontier!
Offices: Howell | Clinton Township
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