Skaug Law - February 2020

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You have a friend at Skaug Law Valentine’s Edition 2020 An Honorable Pursuit Toward Marriage (208) 466-0030

How I Met My Wife and How I Met My Sons-in-Law

emergency room. Victoria had blown out her knee during a high school basketball game, and this guy came to see her. I didn’t know who he was to Victoria, but all he was to me was some kid getting in the way of making sure my daughter was okay. I told him to get out, and I remember Victoria being kind of upset about that. Bekah’s and Victoria’s husbands were nothing if not persistent, however. They stuck around, and I eventually warmed up to them. I remember realizing Bekah’s husband was the guy she was going to marry when we talked about marriage while leaning up against a split-rail fence in Valley County. Victoria’s husband eventually asked for my permission to marry her, and I respected him for that. Because of how I pursued my wife before we were married, I respect guys who are willing to honorably chase after the women they want to marry. I remember the pastor of the church I used to go to talking about the times men in his congregation would come to him and say, “God told me to marry this woman.” My pastor would just look at them and say, “No, He didn’t.” Many of them would walk away dejected because in that moment they realized it wasn’t going to be as easy as they wanted. Real relationships aren’t supposed to be easy. It takes time and effort to make a relationship into a marriage, and I’m thankful my sons-in-law understood this — and that I understood it, as well. “Real relationships aren’t supposed to be easy. It takes time and effort to make a relationship into a marriage.”

I remember meeting her like it was yesterday. We were both students at the University of Idaho, and we attended the same church group in Moscow, Idaho. During one particular young-adult church party where everyone needed to form orderly lines, Debbie just stood up on a table and began giving orders to the crowd. They obeyed. I was awestruck by the way Debbie could command a room. She was so unlike any other girl I had known until then. Although I had previous infatuations, this was the moment I knew I had found the One with a capital “O.” Later on, I learned she was a mean cook, a happy bonus for sure.

Of course, we didn’t just live happily ever after from that moment on. What followed was a two-year honorable pursuit of the woman who would become my wife. Without going into too much detail, throughout the time I dated her, I changed my politics and got rid of the shiny, brown polyester suits I loved so much. Pursuing the woman I loved cost me, but what I gained as a result was infinitely better. Two years after I saw Debbie up on that coffee table, we got married. Debbie and I have six kids and now four grandkids. Two of my daughters are married, and whenever I think of how I pursued Debbie before we were married, I can’t help but think of how my two sons-in-law pursued my daughters. It was very different being a spectator to that pursuit instead of a participant.

Happy Valentine’s Day,

The first time both of them showed interest in my daughters, I told them to go away. In fact, the first time I met Victoria’s husband was in the

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