truth?” Jesus said, “ I am the tru th.” Teens want to live life to its fullest. Jesus said, “ I am life.” He is completely adequate for what young people are seeking today. But adults need to communicate this with assurance. Dr. Lars Grand- berg told a group of youth leaders: “ Increasingly I come to the conclu sion that one of the most stabiliz ing and helpful forces in the lives of young people is a group of adults or one adult who acts as if he en joys being grown up and acts as if he knows what life is for, isn’t afraid to face the challenges, and yet has real status. Another way to put this is that young people need adults who are self-respecting as a source of their stability.” They need self-respecting adults; ade quately secure in their own faith that they can love teens in spite of their fluctuating emotions. Communications Builder No. 8— Expose Him to Other Good Adult Influence. Merton P. Strommen did a study called "Profiles of Church Youth” for American and Missouri Lutherans, published a few years ago. He discovered that one of the things that most preoccupied these young people was how adults felt about them — their standing with adults. One of the things that trou bled them was that they thought adults had a low opinion of teen agers. So this becomes their refer ence point, and what they need are “ open” adults. Concerned parents should not be fearful of exposing their teens to the best kind of adult influence available. Teens respond when the right adult comes on the scene. I can think of many young people whose lives have been significantly changed because of the influence of a dedicated youth worker. The youth worker is able to approach your teen from a neutral position, without the tensions that build up from everyday living in the home. So thank God if your teen comes alive under the influence of some other Christian adult. He is not out to steal the affection of your teen; he will probably do much to seal those affections and draw you clos er together.
Christian Workers' Clinic
B u i l d i n g P A R E N T - T E E N C o m m u n i c a t i o n s by Ray Syrstad
Part IV
Y oung people are desperately looking for a base of stability in today’s world. Most of what they see in our changing times is very unstable. So, parents, here are two final Communications Builders to help guide your young people through the turbulent teen years. Communications Builder No. 7— Provide Love and Security. Billy Graham says of his growing-up years, “ If I broke a rule, believe me, Father never hesitated. Off came .his belt. Mother preferred a long hickory switch. But I always knew they loved me — even while they spanked me. And that meant more to me than anything else I know.” Anna B. Mow, in her book “ Your Teenager and You,” points out the difference between the par ental protective love of childhood and the parental liberating love of adolescence. The Apostle Paul de fines the essence of love as giving of one’s self. Parents find this rela tively easy to do in a protective form to their children. But when they become teens, they tend to give love in accordance with the re sponse they receive from the teen . . . and often they don’t like the kind of response they receive. But genuine love is not given according to response. Liberating love makes room and allowance for the trial-
and-error experiences that are a part of the maturing teen years. Jerry stormed up to his room after a reprimand that he felt was unjust, saying to his mother, “ I know you hate me!” The next night his mother was saying goodnight in his room and he said, “ Mom, I just want you to hold me because then I feel secure.” And as she held him, he apologized for what he had said the night before — he didn’t mean it. Of course he didn't. Now he was silently communicating, as a young teen falteringly taking his first unsure steps towards man hood, “ hang on to me! — hang on to me!” Adults must try to understand what is going on in today's world in terms of the essentials of our Biblical faith. Then they must somehow communicate to teens a welding between the Biblical faith and the confusing mass of events taking place all about them . . . so that the relevance of the gospel and the adequacy of Jesus Christ may be clearly seen. The Scripture is a record of the adequacy of Jesus Christ. Jesus said in John 14:6: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. . . ." Teens are stumbling, trying to find which way to go. Je sus said, “ I am the way.” Teens are asking the question, “ What is
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THE KING’S BUSINESS
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