; Adults show their love for chil dren in ways other than doing. A warm friendly smile conveys love. Don't be afraid to say, “ I love you” ; or "I think you’re a nice boy.” Ask yourself if a stranger would know that you really love your child by the things you say and the words you use. Be willing to give your undivided time and attention to the child when needed.
of the following questions: a. Is this limit for the safety of the child or of others? b. Is it necessary for maintain ing control in a situation? c. Is this limit really for the good of the child, or is it simply for adult convenience? d. Is this a lim it which can be realistically enforced? e. Is this limit God-honoring and consistent with scriptural princi ples? Be reasonable from the child’s point ow view. Forcing a child to perform too quickly is to invite con flict. Small children, particularly, become confused when hurried. Do not expect the child to stop an activity instantly. Give him advance warning and, if practical, let him finish the activity. 4. Consistency. Wise parents and teachers are consistent in their de mands and attitudes toward chil dren. A child should be able to count on the way in which his par ents or his teachers usually react to a situation. God Himself has given us the pattern for this man ner of dealing with children. In His very nature God is immutable, un changeable. L ikew ise the moral principles established by Him are permanent. God's attitude toward sin never changes nor do the penal ties for sin laid down by Him. Scripture passages such as Isaiah 46:9, 10 and James 1:17 prove the consistency of God’s character. Do not make a rule today which may be forgotten tomorrow because Mother is busy making dinner, or because today we have visitors in class. It is never wise to let a child get away with something “ just this once.” Related to this is the area of offering choices. Offer a child a choice only when you are willing to accept his negative reply. Of course it is important for the child to learn to make decisions, but very real conflicts and frustrations will develop if you offer a choice to the child when he really has no choice at all. For example, if you are not going to let the child work on hand craft until he finishes a page in his workbook, you are asking for trou- 49
“ ruleth well his own house. . . . For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?” If you show love and concern for others, if you respect the rights and opinions of others, if you manifest a willing and generous spirit, then you are teaching your children these concepts. However, if you consistently shout at a child, you are teaching him that this is the way to treat other people. How true the saying, “ What you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you're saying.” This principle applies to the spir itual training of the child. If you are careless in your attitude toward the church or its leaders, you must expect that your children will be careless in these matters. If you stay home from Sunday school or church for any reason other than illness, whether it be the arrival of visitors or the opening of fishing season, you must expect your chil dren to have no real sense of the importance of regular church at tendance. Likewise if you do not teach them reverence and respect for the Word of God, they will not heed its precepts. If your life is worldly, you must expect that your children will live lives of worldli ness. The product of God-honoring, properly managed homes will be God-fearing children. Praise God we can claim His promise, “ . . . when he is old, he will not depart from it.” 3. Limitations. One of the most necessary, but probably one of the most neglected principles in child training is that of setting limits. Every individual needs to have his boundaries defined. The Old Testa ment law was given to set definite limits for man’s behavior. And God, through the Holy Spirit, laid down rules for righteous living through out the New Testament. Man’s na ture is such that he needs to know how far he can go. Since this prin ciple is so clearly set forth in Scrip ture, why are Christian parents and educators so lax in applying this to disciplinary training? Perhaps it will be helpful if adults will evaluate limits in terms
Loving acceptance of the child is important. Accept him as he is, mean feelings and all. Take notice of his limitations and expect only that of which he is capable. This is not an easy task. It requires great understanding and patience. How wonderful that God offers us His wisdom! It requires that parents and teachers really know each child. It requires building a warm, friendly relationship with the child and remembering that he is an in dividual, not a puppet to be oper ated by pulling strings. It involves understanding the child's point of view and avoiding conflict or the forcing of an issue as much as pos sible. Try to maneuver the situa tion or present the alternative so that the child will want to do what is desired of him. It is a psychological fact that hostility, frustration and even emo tional illness can result when a child is pushed beyond the limits of his ability. But happy acceptance of him, just as he is, will lead to his willing acceptance of you and your guidance. 2. A Good Example. To speak of being a good example may appear unnecessary, but it has been said that children “ catch their educa tion from their parents.” They learn by what they see us do. Edu cators speak of “ model setting.” This means showing the child exact ly what action or behavior we wish from him. The Scripture teaches this prin ciple of looking at your “ walk” in stead of your “ talk” in the New Testament practice of testing a man’s fitness for church leadership by looking carefully at his house hold. In I Timothy 3:4, 5 Paul states that the one chosen to lead the children of God should be one who DECEMBER, 1970
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