Enjoy our BGHNC Fall Communique Newsletter - the Residential Program issue
Communiqué FALL 2026 THE NEWSLETTER OF BOYS & GIRLS HOMES OF NORTH CAROLINA THE RESIDENTIAL PROGRAM ISSUE
It was 7:15 a.m., and a game of bop-the-balloon was already in full tilt inside Lake House II, one of the homes in the teen moms and babies program at Boys & Girls Homes. The babies were already dressed and ready for the hour-long round-trip to their preschools and daycares. Their mothers were in their rooms getting ready for work or school, while Teaching Parents Christy Hardee, Tammy Mcleod and Ciara McDonald watched the children play. The eldest of the crowd“Anthony”at age 3 was leading the chase after the yellow balloon while his younger friends“Joy”and“Bruce” toddled after him to keep up. “Joy” caught the balloon a few times, but “Anthony” always won. “Bruce” sat down and cried out of frustration. Seeing the game going awry, Teaching Parent and Lake House director Jacinda Mahoney suggested that everyone go outside for a photo together before jumping into the Lake House van for the trip. By 7:30 a.m., “Joy” and “Anthony” were strapped in their car seats in the Lake House van.“Bruce” stayed at the cottage that day for a doctor’s appointment. Lake House Driver and Teaching Parent Karen Melvin said, “Normally, “Anthony’s” mom comes with him, but today she has therapy, so I’m riding alone,”Karen said, adding that it would be comforting to“Anthony”for me to sit with him in the back. “Sometimes he will cry all the way there if his mom isn’t with him, depending on how his night was before,”Karen said. Day in the Life of the Daycare Run BY AMANDA IRWIN
IN THIS ISSUE
Deonte’s Story
President’s Message
“My name is cowboy!”
Aunesti and Miracle’s Story
“You gave my name away,”Karen joked with him.“I thought I was cowboy!” Little“Joy”quietly sucked on her pacifier and watched the cars and trees fly by. Her mother, “Trinity”rode next to her daughter on the way to her job. After dropping off Trinity at her work, Karen pulled the van into“Joy’s”daycare 20 minutes later, carefully unbuckled her, strapped on her tiny pink glasses and held her hand as they walked inside. While Karen was inside the daycare, Anthony asked to see the photo we took outside of Lake House. “That’s my family,”he said, referring not just to his mom, but to the other moms and their babies too. Then he was on to the next subject. “Hey, look, I see a bird in the clouds. That’s a deer forest over there.” As we pulled into“Anthony’s”preschool at 8:15 a.m., Karen shared some of her deep connections to BGHNC history. Carolyn Dudley, who was a cottage cook, and Leon Dudley, a longtime grounds keeper, were her aunt and uncle. Karen visited the campus frequently as a girl, joining the cottages for their Halloween carnivals in the 1980s.
Food Service to the Cottages
A Family Meeting in Rotary Cottage
Alumni Feature: John Burns
Capital Campaign Update
Planned Giving Tip
Summer Fun Photos
(CONTINUED ON PAGE 3)
“Anthony”announced to everyone in the van:
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A Message from Marc
Welcome to the Fall edition of the Boys & Girls Homes of North Carolina Communiqué . This special behind the scenes issue “opens up the curtains” to show you the day-to-day life at BGHNC: daycare runs with teen moms and their babies, creative dinners prepared by dedicated staff served family-style at each cottage dining table, children choosing activities and meals at weekly Family Meetings, and young adults visualizing a better future for themselves because of the close sense of family built at BGHNC. Behind all of this, please feel proud that your support for BGHNC enables staff to challenge the stereotype that congregate residential care should be impersonal or institutional. Here we treat each child as an individual and ensure that each of our “cottages” are beautiful homes with unique families in each one. You see, children at BGHNC are not numbers. We know their names, their stories, and their interests. We love them, and we work hard to create an environment that changes lives and provides fond memories for these
children to cherish for the rest of their lives. Thank you for supporting the mission of Boys & Girls Homes of NC. Each gift you give has a tremendous impact on the children of North Carolina.
Marc A. Murphy, LCSW President & Chief Executive Officer Boys & Girls Homes of North Carolina
DEONTE’S STORY Teaching Parent Janae Matthews was working in Solomon Emergency Youth Shelter when Deonte Noiles, 17, first arrived at Boys & Girls Homes a year ago. “He would not interact with any other kids. He would go on activities with us to the beach, and I remember he stood by himself the whole time,” she said. “He’s totally transformed. It’s beautiful to watch how much he has changed.” A slow smile spread across Deonte’s face as he recalled the difference in himself he’s seen in the past year
at BGHNC.
someday, but he’s still exploring careers in welding. “He’s a good worker,” said Residential Director Jonathan Crawley. Deonte has time. He hopes to stay at BGHNC until he finishes his education, gets his license and first job. “As you stay here longer, you build friendships and with that comes communication, and you can be more comfortable around everyone,” he said. “A job, a car, a home. That’s what stability looks like to me now.”
“Meeting more people and getting greeting skills, it just teaches you how to step outside of yourself,” he said. “I just kind of woke up one day and realized there’s no reason to be shy. Everyone here is just as nervous as me.” Now, Deonte loves playing basketball, soccer and video games with the other boys in his cottage and working on campus with the Maintenance team patching cottage walls or doors or fixing clogged toilets. He has about a year and a half left in his welding program at Southeastern Community College, and he’s also taking a business class this semester. Deonte hopes to work in pipeline welding
** Deonte’s social worker gave permission for his story to be told. **
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The first moment Lake House Teaching Parent Jacinda Mahoney saw a major change in Aunesti Smith was after her graduation from Thomas Academy at age 16. Aunesti proudly carried her baby Miracle on her hip across the stage, a broad smile stretching across her face. She’s learned “that [other people’s] emotions don’t have to be your emotions,” Jacinda said. “Aunesti uses her coping skills a lot more now. She recognizes when she’s getting irritated, and she goes to her room to listen to music.” Now 18, Aunesti has a part-time job, is learning to cook and is working toward graduation from Southeastern Community College as a nail technician. Her goal is to work in a salon creating nail designs and working with natural hair, braiding and locks. Aunesti also wants to ensure she has her license, a car and a safe place to live for herself and Miracle, now 2, before she leaves the program. “The fact that she is working in a public setting now, Aunesti has to have coping skills to manage her behaviors and her actions and reactions,” said Teaching Parent Janae Matthews. Since coming to the Lake House Teen Moms and Babies program two years ago, “I have more patience and calm now,” Aunesti said. “I know how to communicate and not just shut down and get frustrated.” Aunesti and Miracle’s Story
When she first came to BGHNC, Aunesti remembers being angry all the time.
“I was confused and lost and pregnant,” she said. But now, “I’ve started journaling, and that has helped me. I learned that a baby is not on your time. They’re on their own time.” “It’s difficult for me in raising a kid. They say I do really good, but I need to improve in bonding with her and reading to her,” Aunesti said. “I want Miracle to have the life I never had. If she wants to go to college, I want to be able to pay for that.” Aunesti said she’s excited to be a peer mentor to other moms in the program. The design of the Lake House program means that Aunesti has an army behind her, and she said she has appreciated the support of Teaching Parents Miss Tammy, Miss Janae and Miss Shanita. “Miss Jacinda tells me what I don’t want to hear,” Aunesti said, smiling. “She’s my tough love, but she’s right.” All of the advice and coaching Aunesti received at BGHNC paid off recently with some big news -- her first corporate job.
“
I want Miracle to have the life I never had.
—AUNESTI SMITH
DAYCARE (continued from page 1) She returned to Lake Waccamaw after working in the trauma healthcare industry for years in Charlotte. “It’s different here than what I’m used to, but it’s home,”she said.“I came back and never knew I would work at the place where I used to play as a girl.”
Karen turned in her seat to remind Anthony of the preschool rules before taking him inside. “No hitting. . .” she said, trailing off so “Anthony”would call out the rest of the rules. “No kicking, no fighting, no screaming, no hitting,”“Anthony”said, clearly from memory. He unbuckled himself from his seat and
pressed his nose to the window watching for little people he knew. “That’s good, buddy,”she said, taking his hand and walking him into daycare. “That’s my friend,”he said, running to his playmate for a hug.
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Day in the Life – Food Service to the Cottages
Providing good, wholesome food for the children in care on Boys & Girls Homes campus has been a central focus since its founding in 1954. Originally, each cottage had one or two cooks and industrial kitchens to handle the rigor of cooking three daily meals plus snacks for up to 20 hungry boys per cottage. Over time, cottages shared cooks. When Flemington Academy opened with its own cafeteria in 2013, cottage cooks worked there instead. Each cook had her signature dishes that BGHNC alumni still remember today –cinnamon rolls or potato salad or a famed broccoli salad, a recipe passed from cook to cook. “Before the cafeteria, Optimist and Rotary were cooking cottages, and they cooked for the school too, and kids came from school to those cottages to eat,”said Residential Director Jonathan Crawley. “When the civic clubs came to campus, everybody came for the fried chicken and blueberry cheesecake from Miss Kat and Miss Fay.” Today’s BGHNC Food Services Manager Stacey Green and cooks Tiffany Lewis and Ken Brewer, prepare weekday meals for our 43 residents. Each summer day, Tiffany cooks breakfast for Solomon Emergency Youth Shelter around 7:30 a.m., and the cottages make their own breakfasts. The cooks follow set menus from the state with a little wiggle room for kiddo tastes. Breakfast was waffles, syrup cups, sausage patties, applesauce, milk and juice. By 8:30 a.m., Stacey is hard at work in Lang Building preparing to order food and supplies as well as toiletries for the cottages for the next two weeks. She has worked in BGHNC Food Service for a decade. “We just don’t stop, but of course this place doesn’t stop either. It’s 24/7,”Stacey added.
“When I cook, I like to choose recipes that are a little different, so the kids don’t eat the same things all the time,”Ken said.“Yesterday, the menu said smoked sausage, and we usually have that on buns. So, I cut the sausage and served it over jambalaya rice instead.” At the end of each food prep, all the cooks scrub all surfaces and wash their hands, upholding the 100 percent food safety rating the kitchen has maintained the last two years. For special events like a quarterly all staff Town Hall, Stacey gets creative, carving a pineapple snake and a pineapple palm tree shading a fruit plate.
Before lunch is ready at 11:30 a.m., Tiffany prepares sweet tea and lemonade for the next day’s event. As she rolls the cart across campus to the Fellowship Hall, Tiffany shared that she currently has:“200 chickens, 4 goats, 9 pigs and 1 grandbaby,”she said, laughing.
By 10:30 a.m. Ken is working on lunch and prepping for dinner with a block of frozen chicken breasts defrosting in the cafeteria kitchen for lemon pepper chicken. Two of the Lake House teen moms unload buggies of food from a recent food truck delivery. Lunch is spaghetti with meat
During the school year, residential kiddos come to the cafeteria for lunch with their classmates, but at night, they eat family-style supper around the large dinner tables in each of their cottages. At 4 p.m. each day, Ken or Tiffany write a note in the Residential GroupMe app that says:“Dinner carts are ready to pick up.”Each cottage sends a food ambassador to roll the cart of food pans back home. On the weekends, the cottages cook meals in their kitchens or eat leftovers. “I like to make the Rice Krispie treats because the kids love them,” Tiffany said. Some days in BGHNC Food Service are more hectic than others, but Tiffany said she returns each day for the kids.
sauce and a salad bar. The teen moms fill silver square containers with shredded cheddar cheese and chopped eggs. The moms say they like macaroni and cheese, steak fajitas, chicken wings, potato wedges and the Mexican street corn best.
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S even sets of boy some drumming a beat, some resting and some with their fingers interlaced. Boys ages 9 to 15 sat forward in their seats waiting for their weekly Family Meeting to get started with serious expressions hands rimmed the Rotary Cottage dining table – like miniature businessmen. This was serious business after all. The Family Meeting is each BGHNC resident’s weekly time for agency; their chance to voice their concerns, food preferences for the week and fun activity ideas. Consultant Alex Arey reminded everyone of the meeting rules: Be respectful. No profanity. Give everyone attention. “Matt” was the boss of that week’s meeting– the Peer Manager. He wrote the date and time at the top of his meeting notes page. “Does anyone have good news to share?” Matt began. One boy was pretty sure he was going home for visits soon. “Tomorrow is my friend’s birthday. I haven’t seen him in four years,” another boy shared.
But the mood of the group really lifted, when Matt switched topics to Family Activity Ideas. “Each day of the week we pick a movie to watch together.” “Build a tower out of cups or playing cards.”
Anatomy of a Family Meeting
“Go to a workout place.”
Meal ideas for staff to cook on the weekend? Chicken nuggets, homemade pizza, seafood boil, crab legs, all made the wish list. “Any concerns?” Matt asked the group. “My social worker needs to get here. It’s been some months,” one of the boys shared. Then the boys agreed that “Darren” should be their next peer manager. He ran unopposed. “Meeting adjourned,” Matt said, tapping the table twice with his knuckles. “Can we go ahead and have privilege time?”The whole meeting lasted just 15 minutes, the speed and efficiency of which would be the envy of any company – all content and no drama. The boys scattered to their rooms and some asked
“Battleship!,” another boy said, excited. “We’re going to the Battleship next week!”
permission to play video games. One boy returned to ask Teaching Parent Kim Colson: “Do you want me to take that extra chair back to the office for you?” “Please and thank you,” she said. “Thank you for asking. That comes from us doing so many things together.” Teaching Parent Jerry Wyman said the close bonds the kiddos have developed allow them to settle any differences with their words - just like the best of brothers.
“What is our skill focus of the week?” Matt asked.
The boys suggested a few skills to practice including “time management,”“following instructions” or “conversation skills.” “I say time management,” Matt chose. “Any ideas on how we work on time management?” He took notes as the boys called out “Be on time” or “wake up earlier.”
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Alumni Feature: John Burns
John Burns first saw the shores of Lake Waccamaw at age 13 when he came to Boys Home in 1987. Today, he is 51 and lives in Wilmington, running his 22-year-old kitchen and bathroom tile business, Burns Tile. Before BGHNC, John bounced to many different placements. But when he came to stay in the Jaycee Cottage at BGHNC, “I had just come from a foster home that was horrible so to come here was 10 times better,” he said while visiting BGHNC this spring for the first time in 30 years. “I remember having nice clothes here. We would shop at a place in Whiteville called Mann’s. An older guy there would always help us with our clothes,” John said. “I remember the auto shop and taking care of the horses on the Farm.” John’s favorite was Apache, a large horse with tan and white spots.
John observed everything in the cottages, including where the keys to the vans were kept. One night the temptation to run overtook him, and John drove a campus van into downtown Whiteville. “I had the windows down and the Commodores on the radio,” and that’s when John saw the sheriff’s car, which pulled him over. After talking with him, the sheriff knew he was a boy from Boy’s Home and took him to the station, fed him snacks and waited for the president to arrive. After that, John left BGHNC for a Training School. He got into more trouble after high school and ended up in prison for 15 months. “It was long enough for me to realize I’m never coming back there,” John said. “When I got out, I met my wife. I was getting up early, and I was motivated to find work.” His wife’s cousin found him a job working for a landscaper.
“He was one of the first men -- black or white -- that I saw be a father to his two boys. He called his wife Mama. Now, I call my wife Mama,” John said. “I carry myself just like he did-- keep my shirt tucked in, pants pulled up, always a belt on. I learned so much from him.”Through his work with the landscaping business, John started learning tile work and built a business that lasted more than two decades. Though his time was short at BGHNC, John took away a big lesson – charity. “I was aware that all of the cottages were supplied and donated to by these different civic organizations like the Lions Club and Kiwanis Club, and I realized they would take care of a whole cottage of boys, and they would always show up” he added. “I try to be very charitable now because of what I learned back when I was at Boys Home.”
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Now & Forever: We are Building Hope for Today and Brighter Futures for Tomorrow
PAMELA YOUNG-JACOBS – Chief Mission Officer
In our Summer Communiqué, we shared that the Now & Forever Capital Campaign had entered its public phase. We are pleased to report that the campaign has reached 88 percent of its goal. With a goal of raising $2.5 million by February 2027, we have now secured more than $2.214 million toward that goal. On July 1, 2026, we launched the Hope Multiplied $75K Challenge, which continues through November 1, 2026. Thanks to generous supporters like you, we have already raised more than $45,000, moving us well beyond the halfway mark of this exciting campaign. Every qualifying gift and commitment is a powerful reminder that compassionate individuals across North Carolina believe in our children and in the life-changing work taking place at BGHNC. Every contribution represents far more than a donation. It is an investment in hope, healing, opportunity, and brighter futures. Through the generosity of the Anonymous Trust Foundation, every dollar given above your normal annual gift—or every new gift received—is matched, doubling the impact of your generosity.
Funds raised through the Hope Multiplied $75K Challenge will help build a new meeting place and Alumni Center adjacent to Flemington Hall. This facility will provide much-needed space for opportunities that strengthen our mission for generations. As we continue serving children through God’s work, we are reminded that none of this would be possible without faithful partners like you. No gift is too small, and no act of generosity goes unnoticed. Your support is changing the lives of every child in our care by providing opportunities, stability, and hope for the hundreds of children in our care each year. Together, we are doing more than constructing a building—we are building futures, turning tragedy into triumph, sorrow into success, and heartache into happiness. Thank you for believing in our mission and the children we are privileged to serve.
Is Life Insurance the Answer? RAY COCKRELL Director of Gift Planning
Jeff and Michelle were such a sweet couple and wonderful friends to our BGHNC children for many years. Jeff used to make small wooden cars and trucks and would periodically send a box full for our kids. He was an amazing craftsman. Jeff passed away a few years ago. They were generous donors over the years, but never gave any large gifts – just steady and consistent. A little more than 20 years ago, Michelle took out a Life Insurance policy on her life with BGHNC as the beneficiary. Michelle passed away earlier this year. Even in her passing, because of careful planning and much love, she is still having an impact on our children with her insurance distribution. You have heard me often say, “It is not the plan, it is the planning.” There are many options and vehicles out there that can help you prepare wisely. It is not as much the option you choose as it is making a choice. Make a plan.
Michelle chose life insurance as her giving vehicle. That method of giving can benefit you currently and provide ultimately for BGHNC programs of care after you pass away. Depending on the type of policy and how it is designed, you could potentially qualify for a tax deduction now, possibly claim the premiums paid as charitable gifts, or simply name the beneficiary to know that you are helping to change lives at Boys and Girls Homes. Take a look at the enclosed brochure to help break down the options in simple language. As always, I stand ready to help where you need me. I look forward to talking with you soon!
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SUMMER FUN AT BOYS & GIRLS HOMES
Each summer the entire foster care crew gathers with our foster families and foster children for a day of play at the Foster Parent Summer Appreciation Party at White Lake Water Park. President Marc Murphy and Chief of Community-Based Services Donna Yalch caught up with Charles George, one of BGHNC’s longest-serving foster parents.
BGHNC Board Chairman Jess Hill, Board of Trustees member Nancy Sigmon, Rep. Brenden Jones and Chief Mission Officer Pamela Young- Jacobs commemorate the one-time state budget grant of $1 million to Boys & Girls Homes from the N.C. General Assembly.
Boys & Girls Homes hosted the first Columbus County Day of Hope on June 13 including backpack giveaways with food for families, exhibiting social service agencies, Lions Clubs providing sight and hearing screenings, Black’s Tire exhibiting their race truck and Columbus County law enforcement and fire departments bringing vehicles for a Touch-a-Truck event.
In honor of the late longtime Jaycee Cottage Friend, Jim Godfrey, the Jaycee Cottage Friends gathered on Aug. 8 to unveil the renovated Jaycee Cottage kitchen named Jim’s Kitchen in his honor. Robyn Godfrey, Jim’s wife, Kimberly Taylor, their daughter, Chief Mission Officer Pamela Young-Jacobs, Jerry Wall and Marc Murphy cut the official ribbon.
Memorial & Honor Gifts Amount $__________________________________ Credit Card Type: _________________ Credit Card #________________________________________________Exp. Date________ Phone #_ __________________________________________________________________
Given by________________________________________ Civic Club_ ________________________________________ Address________________________________________ City_______________________ State______ ZIP_ _________ IN MEMORY OF_____________________________________________________________________________________ IN HONOR OF______________________________________________________________________________________ Address________________________________________ City_______________________ State______ ZIP_ _________ Send Cards to______________________________________________________________________________________
Mail to: Boys & Girls Homes of NC, P.O. Box 127, Lake Waccamaw, NC 28450 Make checks payable to: Boys & Girls Homes of NC, Inc. Gifts may also be given online at www.boysandgirlshomes.org or by scanning the above QR code.
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