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When you think about and communicate about resilience, bear in mind not just what it is, but what it is not. The chart that follows helps clarify some common misconceptions.
What Resilience Is Not
What Resilience Is
Resilience can be developed over time.
Something you’re born with
Resilience may evolve, grow, lessen, and fluctuate with different life circumstances. Resilience is a set of skills and capacities that can be nurtured, learned, and developed. Providing supportive relationships and social supports is the responsibility of the caring adults in a child’s world. The ability to weather adversity through life’s ups and downs, as with a scale The ability to adapt to stress and adversity that all people experience The ability to seek and receive help from others
A fixed, unchanging trait
An internal characteristic
An individual’s responsibility
The ability to bounce back, like a rubber band
The absence of stress or adversity
The ability to cope on your own without help
An ongoing process of growth and development
A one-time achievement
The ability to view a situation realistically and maintain a reasonably hopeful outlook
The ability to always be optimistic, no matter the circumstances
The Resilience Scale in Action To think about the scale in real life, imagine this scenario: A new student has just walked into your third-grade classroom mid-November. You review her records, which reveal that she has attended two different poorly funded schools this academic year alone. The vice principal fills you in on a challenging situation at home: Her father recently lost his job, the only source of income for the family. The family has had to stay with different relatives until the financial situation stabilizes. You might expect that this child would not do well in school and that she might show several maladaptive behaviors, including either being withdrawn or oppositional and
22 The Educator’s Guide to Building Child & Family Resilience
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