TEXARKANA MAGAZINE
Walk by the offspring-in-question’s bedroom. It’s probably pretty tidy. The bed is no doubt made and the sheets don’t need to be changed. The waste basket isn’t even full. Oh, happy day. Now head to the kitchen. Think about what’s for dinner. Remind yourself that a balanced, healthy meal, while a good idea for your growing child, is not a necessity for yourself and your spouse. A glass of wine and some cheese and crackers will do nicely. Cancel the trip to the grocery store and sit down with a crossword puzzle. Feel content. Listen closely. Do you hear a siren in the distance? Remind yourself that it can’t possibly be your teenager, because your teenager is miles away. Stop worrying. Relax. Take a nap. There are definite positives to having an empty nest. You just have to look for them. That “out of sight, out of mind” thing is real. Admit it—when you hear a siren and your child is out, you always assume that he or she has been in an accident. It’s what
parents do. When your child is late coming home, you naturally jump to the conclusion that something terrible has happened. Obviously, something could happen to your child on a college campus. But because you don’t know they’re late, and you can’t hear sirens 200 miles away, you simply don’t think about it. Which is really a blessing, because worrying accomplishes nothing anyway. It can be very freeing not knowing what your kid is up to. It was a different world in 1998 when we packed our son off to A&M. Unlimited talk and text were yet to be the norm and land lines still offered long distance you had to pay for. Emailing was in its infancy and the Internet was dial up. We really didn’t know what he was up to most of the time. One day when I came home for a quick lunch, I dialed up the Internet and heard the AOL Instant Message chimes for the very first time. Simultaneously, a text box popped up with the words, “Hi, Mom!” Between classes, he had stopped by the library to use their computer.
I went home for lunch and dialed up AOL every day for the rest of that semester, and the sound of those IM chimes could make my heart sing to this day. So I talk really big. Empty nesting was a genuine struggle for me, and my heart goes out to all of you who are experiencing it for the first time. Those experts I mentioned earlier? They do suggest getting back in touch with the person you were before you became a parent. Or becoming someone new, unimpeded by the constant demands of parenting. Rekindle your relationship with your spouse; it has undoubtedly changed during the parenting years. Now is your chance to get it back or make it new. Opportunities are abundant. Focus on that empty laundry hamper, the people far away who are preparing three meals a day for your offspring, and the ability to sleep right through curfew. Enjoy it. And get ready for the next phase. Because in-laws are not far off. And grandchildren come next!
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LIFE & STYLE
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