Since then, I have never forgotten that story. Making room for joy means living in the maybes—and working gratitude a bit differently than most. Let me explain. That same tough season, a friend handed me a small book on gratitude by Melody Beattie, the It Girl of recovery literature who rocketed to fame with The Language of Letting Go. Beattie’s formula for gratitude—grounded in her own experience when she was making her youthful transition from honor-roll student turned junkie-thief-stripper turned addiction counsellor-mother-bestselling author—was simple. She advocated cultivating gratitude for everything in your life: the good, the bad, the indifferent. But especially the bad. Beattie believes that just as in martial arts, resistance is the fastest way to disconnect from our own emotions, locking us into battle with reality and above all, ourselves. You must befriend what is, all the while setting your intention for what you want.
When I was first given the book, I was put off by the title—Make Miracles in Forty Days: Turning What You Have into What You Want. But Beattie has soulful credibility in the world. Besides, life was giving me a solid whacking, and I was open. Beattie enchanted me with one phrase near the opening: “Grace neutralizes anguish .” I knew that was true from my experience in early recovery, when I had sunk to my knees. That day—November 3, 2008--my sponsor had come forward, and I had not sipped a drink since. I believe in grace. Beattie also said this: “A monkey can count his blessings.” She was challenging me to do things differently. What did I have to lose? Forty days of thanking for the tough stuff wouldn’t kill me.
And, as Beattie suggested, I set an intention. Why not?
HOLA SOBER | MADRID
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